A Whole 'Nother Country...

Jeanne and I arrived in Honduras last Sunday morning, were greeted by our dear friends, Rick and Kim Beck, spent a day at their home, traveled to Valle de Angeles, unpacked our bags at Villa Chelsey Bed and Breakfast, set up for the conference, and awaited the Tuesday arrival of 5 or 6 couples for a 3-day investment into their marriages and ministries.

The very broken couple for whom we'd prayed to come decided not to come but to attend an intensive back in the states.  I am glad for their sake that they are devoting time and resources to get to the bottom of their issues in their very young marriage.

The attending couples were church planters, pastors, and children/youth-focused ministry couples.  They all had a common love for the Hondurans and getting the Good News of Jesus to them quickly, effectively, and consistently.  Our time together was to allow them to step back, look at their own marriages and families, allow the Father to heal areas of brokenness and to take steps to even deeper love for each other and for the Lord Jesus....to live loved and give love freely ... starting at home.  (Sound familiar? )  :)

Most of the couples experienced real challenges getting into the processing of the lists of guilt and hurt.  We needed another few hours to deal with what to do with expectations when the spouse doesn't seem as sincere as we would like, when one spouse's list is detailed and the other spouse's list was more general, or when a couple felt they had already dealt with stuff and didn't want it to be rehashed.  All of these concerns are legitimate and the challenge to the process helped the week to become not a process but a living, changing experience with the Word of God.  Another big issue was "what is to prevent our spouse from doing it again" after having confessed "it" (whatever "it" is) and taken responsibility for their guilt.

After discussing that there was no need to rehash old stuff that had truly been forgiven or comforted, that we are to deal with our stuff without passing judgment on the sincerity of the spouse's confession, and that individuals process hurt and guilt differently so that some get to the detail quickly while others take a while to think in specific terms, we turned the group loose to "do it again".   We also determined that there is no guarantee in human relationships that we won't fail each other in any area or that we'll be perfect in every way after confession.  The idea in all of this is to make progress toward a closer relationship with each other and a closer walk with Jesus.  When confession is made to us, our response to "do unto others as we would have others do unto us".  We are to realize that the confession made and the forgiveness asked may be as new to the one speaking as to you who are hearing.  Fully 90% of the couples we ask admit that in their first 2 decades of life they never heard an adult confess wrong or ask forgiveness for anything.  Can you imagine it may take us a while to understand our need for forgiveness, know how to process our guilt, ask forgiveness in a way that conveys our sincerity, or actually receive a confession with an attitude that is trusting versus suspicious?  Just a thought.  :)


When we returned that afternoon the couples had experienced some breakthroughs both as individuals and in their marriages.  Some noted that genogram work on home of origin opened their eyes to the patterns of family dysfunction or poor relationship skills they'd carried into marriage and projected onto the spouse.  Others, noted how valuable this will be for their kids to see change in their own lives going forward or how being authentic at home makes it more powerful when the Gospel is shared because people are living it at the house. 

When missionaries, preachers, ministry leaders, and just us ordinary folks go out into our world to talk about the love of Jesus, our job is even more fulfilling, our passion more vibrant as we realize our homes have been the laboratory where our transformed lives continue to be made into the image of Christ most effectively.  When a husband and wife in ministry or not in ministry truly love each other with the love of Christ, the home and their relationship is a haven of safety and rest in a dangerous and chaotic world.  That world is the one into which we've been called to perform our peacemaker/minister of reconciliation role. 

Whether in a third world country like Honduras or in the USA or any country in between....Jesus Christ has given us the power and privilege to live free and to create homes from which loving relationships are exemplified setting future generations in motion to do life better, do marriage better, do evangelism, do discipleship, do business, do politics, do leadership, and on and on .... better than we and making progress toward a society that reflects in public what we are living and training behind the closed doors of our own homes...and all to the glory of God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. 

Just before Honduras

Just before Honduras as plans were being finalized, we got to see the hand of God again.  He took a deficit and filled the hole in fewer than 8 hours...in the mail, a check that might or might not have come; from a friend, a generous gift; from another friend of the family, another generous gift. 

I saw once again how God knows the needs even before we do...of course; He has the provision set aside; we ask in faith believing and sometimes we ask with doubt; He moves on hearts to "freely give" what they have "freely received" from His supply; and the work continues - the bills are paid - God's gets the glory He is due - we experience the reality of God's great love on a very personal level. 

All this happened in two days after I wrote the last post.  I started to "freak out", then grace was extended, His faithfulness was revealed, and the Holy Spirit helped us to "faith up" once again.

Jesus' love is real, and He truly is the only answer.  What an honor to represent Him to family, friends, and the world as we "speak the truth in love" and "share not only the Gospel, but our very lives as well."



btw, my Facebook account got hacked...so if you get a weird link from my Facebook account....it ain't me!  I have taken measures to secure my account so it won't happen again...hopefully.

Freak Out or "Faith Up"

Carol, Jeanne - our youngest daughter, and I were talking last night about finances and trusting God.  Jeanne is quitting her other job to come to TBI full time.  We have too much to develop and track for Carol and me to handle on our own.  Jeanne's admin and communication skills have already been a great plus for TBI Ministries.  Jeanne believes this is what God is leading her to do as a next step in her faith journey. 

Though working for a business that has regular pay checks is a faith journey, working for TBI is another level of either "Freaking Out" or "Faithing Up". 

This phrase "Faith Up" is how I am describing the way God wants us:  me, Carol, and Jeanne to approach our complete trust in Him for funds to keep going in ministry, pay the bills, and give to others.  I have heard "Man Up" before when someone is exhorting a man to be a real man and, well, ... "man up".  I want to be a man of faith who works hard to do the part God calls me to do then trusts Him for the rest.  So I want to "Faith Up" rather than "Freak Out" as the challenges come and the needs persist.

I don't mean to write so much about finances, but it helps me to spell it out - literally - and read what God is doing in His ever-faithful way.  It encourages me and, hopefully, those who read this to recount story after story of miraculous ways God provides.  To be fair, every way God provides is miraculous because living today is a miracle, being forgiven - being loved - loving others - being free - having daily provision - knowing Christ - having a home in heaven - having a home here - having gifts and abilities - experiencing the abilities to think, see, feel, hear, smell, and taste - having been delivered from a variety of sin-addictions any one of which could have destroyed my life - having the indwelling Holy Spirit, etc....  These are all miracles. 

So why should I "Freak Out" in the face of such faithfulness?  Well, I should not, ever; but I probably will at times.  So when I fail to "Faith Up" and "Freak Out" instead, would you pray for me that I will stop freaking and start "faithing" sooner rather than later?  I appreciate you.

News Flash: "Every person you meet today is really dying, but..."

Stories of God’s Glory

I decided to drop this section in now before I got into the story of yesterday!

By the way, I have some reports for you.

• Our Pennsylvania friends continue to be a blessing as we see our Atlanta IE friends investing in a new marriage small group as well as mentoring another couple who attended the conference back in March.
• Plans for Honduras are coming together and we leave in just a few weeks:  May 22-28 includes travel and the conference for the missionary couples.
• We have two weddings to attend and officiate over the next two weekends.  Great stuff!  What a thrill to see couples prepare for an abundant marriage as well as for a beautiful wedding.
• Another $2000+ came in from some dear friends, as God directed them to share with us for the benefit of others.

The Story of Yesterday:  May 10, 2011       News Flash!  “Everyone we meet today is REALLY dying, but….”

On my way to meet a friend for breakfast yesterday, I realized that our discussion was probably going to turn to the cancer he has been fighting with the support of his family and friends for the last several years.  He is not an old man, at all. 

Our conversation started off “light” but turned quickly to life, death, preparation for both – either –neither.  As I discussed my Dad’s untimely death at 66 after open-heart surgery in 1977, we talked about the breakthrough techniques that were developed after my Dad died.  Had they been made just a few years earlier my Dad may still be alive at 100+ years of age rather than being gone from us for over 34 years.  That ripe old age does not seem so far-fetched seeing that my Mom is 98+ and going strong.

My friend’s comments about “wishing cancer had been licked by now” generated a long conversation that ended in a discussion of Jesus Christ.  I find that Jesus’ claim to be the “way, the truth, and the Life” is true.  I believe He was crucified to be “sin for us” even though He’d never known sin personally, then He died as the sacrifice needed for payment for sin before a Holy and Righteous God.  Oh, how He loves us.  What other possible explanation can be reasonably concluded for Jesus Christ to suffer and die as He did.  My friend and I talked for a long time and very deeply.

We came to the News Flash mentioned above – this time I will finish it!

“Everyone we meet today is REALLY dying, but how many are REALLY living?”

                 

Hebrews 9:27 is clear – we will die, we are dying, we will face a judgment, but we don’t have to face death alone or judgment on our own merit.  John 3:16 was our next point of discussion.  My Dad had hope prior to his death because of his faith in Jesus Christ.   His hope was not just that God could heal him, but that God would heal him either hear via doctors or other miracle or in heaven where he would receive a new body that is eternal…just as Jesus received upon His resurrection. My Dad trusted God’s promises that we have hope not just be healed here because – truth is – even if we got a healing from a physical malady here, we are still one day going to die and make God’s Word in Hebrews 9:27 come alive.  Consider Lazarus in John 11 - he was raised from the dead then eventually died again.

We shifted gears then to describe what “REALLY living” means.  Really living means really loving God will all your heart and everything you have and loving others and loving yourself. John 13:34, 35 came into our conversation and we determined (OK, I determined, he listened) that REALLY living is loving well those God places in your life, while you can, giving away to others the love God has given to you/us.   

I left that meeting renewed in my resolve to quit trying to love and just love, let God’s love - given to me as a gift from His heart to mine - be freed to come in and go out as God planned.

My next meeting was with a great man of God who leads Ministry Ventures based in Roswell, GA.  What a pleasure meeting Boyd Bailey.  We took time to review some of the TBI story and hear some of his.  What an impact God has made on family, friends, church, and community through this man!

My final scheduled meeting of the day was with the husband of one of our participant couples.  He came with good news to share about progress in their relationship as a couple and his relationship with God.  He is coming to grips with the fact that Jesus’ love for Him IS his identity not what others think of him.  He helped me form the thoughts to deepen my understanding that my identity and your identity are not what labels we used to wear:  sinner, pornography addict, drunk, liar, immoral, or etc.  Our label, true identity, is what God says and knows about us.  He knows all that stuff I mentioned, but He knows far more.  He knew what I did before I placed faith in Jesus as my Savior and after.  He gave me a right standing with Himself through the payment given for me by Jesus.  He said that payment could be applied to my massive debt if by faith I would accept and receive Jesus Christ’s death as death in my place for what I had done and would do. (2 Corinthians 5:21)

We spoke about the “basis of truth” being what God says/feels about us rather than what we believe about ourselves.  His love for us is stable, passionate, and pure. I have a hard time maintaining that kind of love for me, others, or God; but by His grace I am making progress in revealing His love to the world ….starting at home.

And then after being blessed by a friend coming by for a visit and sitting on the deck just to talk about the Lord and life, my girls came home and we had a great evening together.

I would say that it was a great day all around.  

Question to ponder:  Are you REALLY dying and are you REALLY living?

Out of the Clear Blue!

Last night we had dinner at the house of some new friends.  We talked about what their role might be as TBI volunteers.  As we looked over some awesome material they have developed as next steps for couples who complete Intimate Encounters under their leadership, we talked about the need for mentor couples (to walk with pastor/leader couples into marriage health), for ministry couples (to help begin marriage ministries), conference couples (to go with us and lead small groups at conferences or retreats), and encourager couples( to help participants take next steps for continued progress after attending a conference). 

They asked great questions and offered helpful insights, we got to know their stories and how God brought them together, and they showed us more material she had developed.  Carol and I were excited to see their passion and the excellence of the work they had done.  I knew that this couple may, by God's direction, be instrumental in several capacities, but one for sure will be to help TBI develop great follow up plans, evaluations, and materials helping couples and churches keep the process of marriage growth alive and well.  We've needed this aspect of marriage material to be developed and implemented strategically for a long time. 

Alongside our mentoring and ministry-development model, a simple follow-up plan will be a welcome addition.  We actually launched our first attempt at follow-up this very day! 


Jeanne and I worked hard to email our first installment of the 52-Week Plan.  We hope to help couples review the Top Ten Relationship Needs and practice effective communication skills on the road to an even more intimate, God-honoring relationship.  By the grace of God these small steps will one day result in 1000's of couples building new legacies and handing a more Christ-honoring, loving heritage to future generations.  The Church needs revival one person at a time, one couple and family at a time, one church and community at a time until The Church is prepared for the return of King Jesus.

Another God-story happened yesterday when a friend gifted our ministry with a check for $500.  (I think some folks do this just to watch a grown man cry. :)  He did not know how critical this money was and how timely the gift, since just a few hours before I had paid over $1400 to get major repairs done to one of our cars.  He did not know, but my Father did!

You Just Gotta Love Him!

I know how tough it is to see, feel, hear, and know God's goodness at times.  He is always with us, but at times we may not see Him or experience His closeness.  When we are sick, broke, hurt, or feel unloved by others, we may begin to believe that Jesus has left us too.  Not true!  One of those bugs that bit and bites is the "if I feel it, then it must be real".  Lately, after a big victory or a "win" for us personally or as a ministry, there may follow a few days when I "feel" lonely or stuck.  What is that?

Sounds like Elijah after whipping 400 prophets of Baal atop Mt. Carmel, then getting scared out of his mind by Jezebel, doesn't it?  1 Kings 18:16 - 19:3

Facing new challenges of the magnitude we currently face is daily, humbling, faith-building, and sometimes just really hard.  When you can, and will, and have time...., would you pray the following prayer or similar for me as I try to rest in God's hands and lead my family and ministry wisely?  I don't want my heart to get "numb" as a defense against feeling the pain of those to whom and with whom we minister.  The only way my heart will stay healthy to "give and receive love freely .... starting at home" is if I do what I am praying others will do.....run to Jesus first rather than wait until I am moving down the tracks away from Him to try to find a quick fix for the poisonous emotion I am feeling. Lately, I find myself in greater battles than before and losing more often.  So, would you pray for me, for us to be faithful and loving and reflect the love of Jesus Christ.  We know His power and have seen the "power of His resurrection" as well as some of the "fellowship of His suffering". 

Here is how I have stated the prayer I am asking you to pray for me:

Dear Abba,
Isaiah 43:19
"See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."

    You are doing a new thing in me and in us.  Trusting you for more of the "everything you already provide" is new.  Deeper gratitude for more of the "everything you already provide" is new.  Asking you for more specific things as daily needs is new.  Talking more often and more deeply about real faith with the family, our friends, and co-laborers I love so much is new.  Specifically praying that pastors/leaders couples will experience revival in love for you and for one another then pass it along to the church and community is new.

    Our culture is a wilderness and our world is a wasteland/desert; we need for you to do a "new thing" in us, starting in me. You are the "way in the wilderness" and the "stream in our desert".   Oh, God, please use us in new ways to do this new thing.  I already see it springing up.   

Isaiah 43:19
"See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."       

    I think this verse was written just for me sometimes.  (I know it wasn't but it fits so well.)  Help me, Father, to run to you quickly when I begin to doubt, worry, fear, or outright panic.  When there are challenges in difficult, sensitive, personal areas, help me to get close to you, not argue with my enemy, not wonder what I am going to do about it, but first or quickly ask you what “you are going to do about it” and rest.  No matter what it is.  When I am "1/2 afraid and 1/2 excited" about today, help me rest knowing you hold the rope on my saucer-sled. 

    You have always been faithful to me in really great times and really hard times, help me not to doubt you or grasp for confidence in other people or things that can’t supply the need and don’t love me as you do.  In the process, help me as a yielded man to release the calm, passionate, powerful love of Jesus even when people don’t love me back, the need seems bigger than the supply, the sorrow seems overwhelming, and when it seems that few others really care about the things that consume my soul.  From that peaceful place near your heart let me still love, still give, still care, and still obey from the power of your Holy Spirit, when my own resources are all gone or are inaccessible. You are my source; my own abilities or aptitudes are powerless unless you empower me by the Holy Spirit.  Thank you for loving me so much that I have You to be all that I need at any and all times and to let me live loved and give love freely ... starting at home.

Your loved son,  Dave

(Side note:  This phrase:  "1/2 afraid and 1/2 excited" is how a friend of mine described the look on his son's face as he/dad pulled his son on the saucer sled during one of our snow events in Atlanta the past winter.  He observed his son's wide-eyed look and tight grip on the sled and described him/5 year old son as being "1/2 afraid and 1/2 excited.)