Any Regrets? Yes - Final Thoughts

Regrets - My own children.
I won't spend much time here because we have addressed most, if not all the regrets, I had concerning my relationships with our children.  After Carol and I realized how inadequately we'd been trained and mentored to love, we began to invest in each other more wisely and our love grew...still grows.  Soon after this process began we went to our kids to ask forgiveness for not meeting heart needs, for being so focused on self that I had too little time to focus on them.  They forgave me then and continued to show grace to me  along the way, as I messed up.   I have wonderful kids and grandkids who deserve to be loved by a Dad/Grand-dad, who gets it and shows the love of Jesus clearly.

Regrets - Carol Lewis
This would take a book to write, and if I thought it would help others-I'd write it.  Let me simply say that the first half of our marriage was really good, a few years in the middle were starting to show signs of wear and tear on me, but the last 18 years have been a steady growth process for us.  We now love each other more as Jesus loves us.  Today, we are better friends than ever.  Tomorrow holds great hope for us because Jesus Christ is real and really at work to change each of us into His image. 

The Regret?  I wish I knew 42 years ago, when we met at Murray State University, what I learned 18 years ago through the Intimate Encounters material and the Galatians 6:6 Retreat in Memphis.  The more I experience love from her and give love to her, the more excited I am about the next years together...to the glory of God.  He started all this by loving us first.  Sound biblical?  It is.

Finally - I regret not spending more time with God in prayer, in His Word, and in quiet listening.  Oh, of course, I do pray and do listen, but I want to live in His presence without having to stay in a fixed location.  I want God to have my thoughts, my emotions, my choices, and my actions so that He controls all that comes from my life.  As He controls more of me, certainly I will have fewer regrets in the future than in my past. 


I know I could add other regrets, but for now....it is about lunch time and I am hungry. 

All these regrets give a fellow an appetite!

Any Regrets? Where was my Patriotism? Where is Greg Roberson?

Regrets - About My Patriotism
I truly wish that I had been engaged in not only enjoying freedom but also investing my life in preserving freedom for my progeny.  I have sacrificed very little to preserve my country's heritage of liberty and free enterprise.

I am now speaking out, paying up, and supporting those who are attempting to take us back to the foundational principles of the constitution.  My prayer is that I am not too late.  Oh, God, please help me not be too late to join those who are awakening and attempting to stop the flow of freedom being bled from the body of the USA. 

Regardless of the economy's status in the world, no one or nothing should be able to stop the USA from being one of the main sending stations of the Good News of Jesus and of the love of God revealed in strong families and gracious giving to meet the needs of the world.

When Carol, Jeanne, and I started The Basic Idea Ministries, Inc. in September, 2010, I truly believe that God gave and is giving us a chance to help reclaim our country for His purposes.  By helping pastors, leaders, and churches we are seeing God reclaim families and communities.  Our country must experience God 's love clearly displayed in the Gospel of Jesus and authentically experienced in our homes as the way to reclaim the next generations.  Without this powerful, clear display of the love of Jesus Christ, we are just making noise...see I Corinthians 13: 1-3.


Regrets - About Greg Roberson or Robinson
There is a young man, well I guess he isn't quite so young now, to whom I would like to offer an apology.  When he was a student at Briarcrest High School around 1974 - 1978-ish, he and I had some great discussions.  Greg was a good guy, godly young man, and as kind-hearted a person as you'd find.  The regret I have is that I judged him concerning his music choices.  I had much to learn from him but was too steeped in legalism to figure it out.  I wish I could tell him how much he taught me....though it took a while to sink in. 

There were other students in my youth groups in Memphis and Little Rock to whom I would also offer an apology and explanation to let them know that they were much more "right" than I was about the music and the musicians. Many of those contemporary artists understood God's heart much more deeply than I.  I have realized that it isn't the style or the volume that matters, it is the heart of the artist and whether or not he/she is clearly communicating the message of Jesus' love and truth.

Next Post:   My own children.

Any Regret? Yes, outside my family!

Regret- Outside My Family
Thinking about the way I dated fueled by my own insecurity and inaccurate view of what it means to be a "real man", I regret that I missed opportunities to get to know some wonderful young ladies.  I didn't date that much,  but in high school and college did date some wonderful ladies. 

I eventually met and married another wonderful lady named Carol, who is my wife of almost 40 years.  The regret I have is that I could have developed friendships with each of these ladies but didn't and, honestly, didn't know how.

Had I the opportunity to rewind and re-date, I would spend the time getting to know these special ladies without introducing the typical, cultural, "romantic" elements so often practiced and so inadequate at showing true love, respect, and friendship.

By the time I met Carol, I had finally come to healthier conclusions about the relationship I hoped to build, and we "dated better".  Each of these ladies was principled and gracious.  I simply regret not knowing them on a heart level as I could have and should have.

Having friends and being a real friend mean more to me now than I can describe.  I am so grateful to God for allowing me to be in a relationship with my wife Carol that includes a growing friendship, true fellowship as believers in Jesus, and the blessing of a romantic love that continues to bloom over the years.

Next post:   Regrets - About My Patriotism

Any Regrets? Yes, inside my family of origin.

For the past few weeks this theme of "regrets" has come to my mind often.  I am not sure why, but have felt I should write about it...so here goes...


Regret - Inside My Family of Origin
Without making this blog post of epic proportion, let me state simply that I regret not truly, deeply knowing any of my siblings, or my Dad, or my Mom in the era prior to launching into marriage at 22 years of age.

I don't think we knew how to go deep with each other, to listen, ask good questions and respond with tenderness and truth in balance.  By God's grace my Mom, age 99, is still doing well and living on her own with the wonderful help of two brothers, a sister, and their servant-hearted spouses.
Mom and I have become friends and actually have an "adult to adult" relationship.  I love her and know she loves me.

How I wish to God I could have known my Dad better and somehow developed the kind of relationship with him that I believe he'd have enjoyed and that I know I would have.  He was a great man: kind, hard working, funny, hard working, consistent, hard working...did I mention he was "hard working"?  My deepest regret is that I didn't see his eyes much, listen well when he spoke, engage him in long conversations just listening to him,  or ask him questions about, well, about him.  There was so much under that wonderful man's exterior that I wish I could have explored and known.  I think I would also have enjoyed his knowing me more deeply too.

My time at home with 6 brothers and a sister was spent too much in separation and not enough actually showing love and care for each other.  I would truly like to get a re-do on my sibling relationships.  Once again, I would like to have known them much more deeply than I did.  We are working on loving each other better and knowing each other more deeply.  For that I am grateful.  Each of them and their spouses are wonderful, awesome people with many gifts, talents, and admirable qualities.  They are fun to be with.  Just wish I had appreciated them much earlier in life and invested better in a relationship with each of them.

  Next post :  Regret- Outside My Family

Top Ten Relational Needs

Ten Relational Needs*

(Addressed by Jesus)

Acceptance – deliberate and ready reception with a favorable positive response, even after failure (Rom. 15:7). (Jesus accepted Peter ever after Peter’s failure.  John 21:17)

Affection – to communicate care and closeness through physical touch and words (Rom. 16:16). (Jesus loved his disciples.  John 13:1 - Jesus touched and healed the leper. Matt. 8:3)

Appreciation – to communicate with words and feelings a personal gratefulness for another (1 Cor. 11:2).  (Jesus welcomed children, was not bothered by them. Mark 10:14)

Approval – expressed commendation; to think and speak well of (Rom. 14:18). (Jesus commended the Roman centurion for his faith. Luke 7:9)

Attention – to take thought of another and convey appropriate interest and support; to enter into another’s “world” (1 Cor. 12:25).  (Jesus left the Father to enter our world. Phil. 2:6-8)

Comfort (Empathy) – to come alongside with word, feeling, and touch; to give consolation with tenderness (Rom. 12:15).  (Jesus wept with friends. John 11:35)

Encouragement – to urge forward and positively persuade toward a goal (1 Thess. 5:11, Heb. 10:24).  (Jesus sent his disciples out to do kingdom work.  John 14:12)

Respect – to value and regard highly; to convey great worth (Rom. 12:10).  (Jesus valued the adulterous woman brought for judgment.  John 8:10-11)

Security – confidence of harmony in relationships; free from harm (Rom. 12:16a).  (Jesus promises to be with us “even to the end of the age.” Matt. 28:20)

Support – come alongside and gently help carry a load (Gal. 6:2).  (Jesus was with his disciples through celebration and challenging times, and left His Spirit.  John 14:18)

*List was adapted from Intimate Encounters Workbook, page 12; Relationship Press, PO Box 201808, Austin, Texas.

Does God hide His will from us at times?

I think the answer is "yes", if we take a little time to explain the word "hide".  God certainly knows what He wants us to do and reveals much of His will in the Bible.  So, for example, if I want to know God's will about pornography and whether I should feed my mind on it, finding the will of God is relatively easy.  Right?  In the Bible, 2 Timothy 2:22 makes it clear how I am to treat that subject.

But...if I am trying to discern which school I should attend or whether I am to marry or which person I am to marry, that may take a bit longer to discern.  In this process of prayer and reflection, my view is that God wants us to get to know Him while we are trying to discover whether or not He has an opinion about the answer to the question we are considering.

What if all our conversations consisted of a quick question asked and a brief answer given.  That's it.  How much would we really get to know each other if that is all the discussion we experienced.  No, our talks usually include many words, questions, twists, turns, and nuances, don't they?
In the process we get to know the person with whom we are speaking, we begin to understand not only what they are saying but also why they say it.  We might get some insight into the emotion behind their opinions....ranging from no obvious emotion to hysterical, unbridled emotion.

When we come to God to discover His will about an issue important to us, maybe our Heavenly Father (Abba or Daddy) really wants us to stick around awhile and talk and listen and come to know His attitude toward us, toward our willingness to ask Him a question and wait for an answer, and His joyful love for us.  We are children whom He knew before we were made in our mother's womb.  Maybe He'd like for us to know Him and His ways as we get to know His will.

In Psalm 103 we read that God allowed Moses to know His ways but the vast majority only knew God's actions.  Paul wrote in Philippians 3 that his deep desire was to know Jesus in various aspects of His life and to understand not only His positives and power but also Jesus' pain and suffering.

So, the next time you and I have a hard time "knowing the will of God" and begin to believe He is hiding His will from us, maybe we will be a bit more patient with the process and take time to know God's heart and His ways as we seek to understand His will.  He knows even the number of each hair on your head, He understands all about you, and He loves you as much as He loves His own Son Jesus.

He will answer the question when He is ready and when we are ready to receive His answer.  He knows us that well.  Sounds to me like a God worth knowing.  Right?

See those grandchildren in the picture above?  Do you honestly think I would withhold the answer to an honest question from them if the answer would help them?  Of course I wouldn't.  But, I may not answer it right away.  I may wait until I feel they could handle the answer.  Why?  Because I love them.  Our Father loves us even more than I do these kids and their parents and their Grandmommy Carol.  Wow, Abba is awesome!

Eleven Years Ago Today - In the Wake of 9/11

     More than I can imagine, the events of 9/11 are still having a profound impact.  Part of that impact is on me.  No, I didn't lose a family member or friend, but I lost fellow-countrymen.  Losing fellow citizens is a sad affair and worthy of our tearful remembrances.

    This sad event and the aftermath of war and a changed world have sobered me to realize that my country, the United States of America, is more of a unique miracle than I had realized.  Really..a miracle!  What other country was founded on principles from the Bible, has received greater respect by those in the world who have risked it all just to get here, has been a greater sending station for help and support to countries who are friends or foes, has  led the world in propagating the Good News of Jesus, has a method of governance where wrongs can be made right by laws rather than violence, and has been a willing, though much of the time, reluctant force against tyranny.

     It is true that accused of being imperialistic or selfish does not mean we are.  Col. Colin Powell once said that when our time is finished in a country where our armed forces have fought and died is the "only land we ever asked for was enough land to bury our dead..  You may think me naive, but name the country we've liberated or defeated where we've set up shop and stayed to rule.  Even our enemies eventually receive aid and assistance from this nation.  Why?

    The answer is simple, really, and it is not an answer that was discovered recently.  In fact, the Frenchman Alexis de Tocqueville stated in the late 1700's after returning from a tour of our nation, "America is great because she is good. If America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great.”"  Really?  Could he have been mistaken?  Aren't we the evil, selfish colonizers we are accused of being?  I say, "No, we are not!"

     Show me another nation so ready to come to the aid of other nations, so generous with food, money, and aid, so responsive to the oppression of those who are innocent of wrong.  I didn't say we do the world-tour as aid-givers alone.  We don't.  But we are usually first and most generous and last to leave when our assistance is needed.  I am not naive enough to think we are totally good or our motives are always right, but much of the evil intent or selfishness is on the part of misguided leaders not the population at large.
   
     So, why write this blog post?  At this crucial time in America's history let's not forget the truth in de Tocqueville's words.  Let's stay good by being the people of God we are called to be, so that our love at home translates to loving the community, the nation, and the world.  God's love is at the heart of what has made and, I pray, will again make America good...not perfect, but growing in goodness and forgiveness...overcoming our prejudice, our hatred, our gross generalizations of others in a certain demographic class.

      This recognition of the greatness of God's love in making America great and good is at the heart of what led Carol and me out of the comfort of a position and a salary to go after the heart of the church of the Lord Jesus, to help where we can to be a blessing as we have been blessed, to give love away and equip others to "live loved and give love freely ... starting at home".  That love...God's love..revealed in Christ Jesus....delivered by the Holy Spirit is what changed us, made America a good nation before, and must be restored if revival and healing and true greatness is to be seen in our land again.  May it be and may the revival, healing, and greatness of life begin in me.