March 5, 2011 - TBI Volunteer Opportunity Meeting and Information Update
What a blessing to meet 12 couples who have ties to Intimate Encounters ministry through North Point, Buckhead, or Browns Bridge and who have become friends along the way. We met to inform them of the latest happening through TBI and to let them know of coming opportunities to serve pastor/leader couples through this ministry. It was awesome to hear each couple give glory to God for saving/strengthening their marriage and to be reminded of the miracle work of God in so many. We think we are going to do it again April 16, Saturday. If you have not received an invitation but want to come, just go to our website and complete the Contact Us and we'll get the word out to you. OK?
Brasstown Valley Resort, North Georgia Marriage Retreat; March 11-13, 2011
Many of you know that we conducted our first TBIM Marriage Conference this weekend at Brasstown Valley. Our Lord Jesus showed up this morning with joyful praise and tear-filled gratitude from men and women as a result of the working of His Holy Spirit in loving, tender, yet convicting power on us all. Not one soul was untouched by God's gracious work and redeeming love. Couples are going away from the weekend both refreshed and challenged to take steps to keep moving toward the light God has revealed.
This great church in Cumming has never, until now, had a marriage event or investment of this kind in its couples. From the request of a young wife & mother 2 years ago, to the convincing of a leader couple in the church, to the stirrings in a man who "doesn't normally lead in this way", an anxious but obedient ladies' teacher stepped up to encourage the pastor (also fearful of this new thing they wanted to do). God worked in him to move him "to quit sitting on his hands" by showing him the need in his church of help for struggling couples, so he said "let's do this". One of the older leader couples in the church attended just to support the young "folks" and each was moved and changed while there and wants to make sure couples keep getting this kind of encouragement.
Please pray that, if God wants it, we'd one day have the opportunity to help them start an IE class/group and develop leaders for future marriage ministry. This is the next step I hope they take, but that, too, is in God's hands.
We kept to our Financial Policy and did not charge the church a fee; but they decided to take up a "love offering" for us Sunday morning after the worship service and testimony time. God supplied a very generous amount from couples who already had sacrificed to be there. That is why I don't want to charge people - but let God move and work as He wills. He knows who can and who can't / who should and should not give, and He knows that the lower the cost of the retreat, the more couples would be available to come. So we praise Him for His supply and trust Him each day for each days needs. He IS faithful.
I know that the enemy of the Church and of our Savior hates what God did this weekend, and that makes me want to do it all the time and everywhere to the glory of God. There is no way to humanly manufacture what God did this weekend, and for that and so much more we give Him honor and worship. Oh, the sweet, sweet love of Jesus was present and presided over our time together with 9 couples from this great fellowship of believers.
Now what?
Well, this very morning I received a request from a dear couple who are missionaries in Honduras. This couple has been precious to us for years as we watched them grow up in Memphis, fall in love, marry, serve Jesus together in youth ministry and now on mission in Honduras. They asked us to consider leading marriage training with their missionary team there. Is that awesome? Would you pray that if God is in it, He'd supply and make the logistics fall into place?
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
"Didn't I Just Say That" and Other Insights
Time has done it again. Here we are three weeks after my last post and it seems like just a little while...
Can't stop it so we'll use it!
Flash! To use time instead of spending it or wasting it we must learn to walk in the truth!
For instance, Carol and I have worked with hundreds of couples through the years; and as many of you know, we have experienced/are experiencing renewal and revival of love in our marriage. I discovered a common thread in the lies couples in trouble accept as true.
The Lie is "it is OK with God for me to stop pursuing my spouses heart", or stated another way, "when my spouse disappoints me enough, then God won't mind if I stop loving him/her".
As soon as you or I accept that lie as truth, we will create a life path away from intimacy on all levels and investment into marriage. Our heart opens to other possibilities and people to replace our "other half" as "another other half". The new focus may not be an affair with a person, but it certainly will constitute emotional and spiritual adultery.
I can't remember how many exactly, but many divorced couples have told me this same line, "If I had invested as much time in saving my marriage as in destroying it, I would still be married to my first spouse.". Somewhere along the way one of the spouses believed The Lie about being OK with God to stop loving, and when that lie was accepted as truth, everything began to unravel rapidly and, seemingly, irreparably.
Today, when I feel it is OK to stop loving Carol, even for a moment,because she somehow hurts or disappoints me, at that point in time I will make a choice. Either I will choose to agree with The Lie and move to a sustained anger, or I will choose to call on the love God gave me in the power of His Holy Spirit and give Carol grace and forgiveness before being asked. In other words Jesus Christ gives me the power to love Carol exactly the way I want her to love me-with grace, forgiveness, and kindness in good times and tough times.
Can't stop it so we'll use it!
Flash! To use time instead of spending it or wasting it we must learn to walk in the truth!
For instance, Carol and I have worked with hundreds of couples through the years; and as many of you know, we have experienced/are experiencing renewal and revival of love in our marriage. I discovered a common thread in the lies couples in trouble accept as true.
The Lie is "it is OK with God for me to stop pursuing my spouses heart", or stated another way, "when my spouse disappoints me enough, then God won't mind if I stop loving him/her".
As soon as you or I accept that lie as truth, we will create a life path away from intimacy on all levels and investment into marriage. Our heart opens to other possibilities and people to replace our "other half" as "another other half". The new focus may not be an affair with a person, but it certainly will constitute emotional and spiritual adultery.
I can't remember how many exactly, but many divorced couples have told me this same line, "If I had invested as much time in saving my marriage as in destroying it, I would still be married to my first spouse.". Somewhere along the way one of the spouses believed The Lie about being OK with God to stop loving, and when that lie was accepted as truth, everything began to unravel rapidly and, seemingly, irreparably.
Today, when I feel it is OK to stop loving Carol, even for a moment,because she somehow hurts or disappoints me, at that point in time I will make a choice. Either I will choose to agree with The Lie and move to a sustained anger, or I will choose to call on the love God gave me in the power of His Holy Spirit and give Carol grace and forgiveness before being asked. In other words Jesus Christ gives me the power to love Carol exactly the way I want her to love me-with grace, forgiveness, and kindness in good times and tough times.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Wow, time flies.....except when it doesn't!
I can't believe it has been over 2 weeks since I posted. Since the last time, much has changed. We find ourselves with 5 couples involved in TBI in varying degrees. Couple #1 is still making progress for which only God can receive the honor, and we praise Him for loving them and us enough to fight for our marriages. Apparently, love is a really big deal to Him!
Often tempted to settle for the watered-down version of love the world and satan offer, nothing outshines the love God reveals to us in Christ Jesus. Don't you wish Adam and Eve had realized how precious God's love is and refused the fruit rather than opening the door to sin and sin's painful results? I know Jesus wished that none of us had sinned. We can't blame Him, can we? Look what price He paid to convince us that the Father loved us before and loves us still. This love is the kind of love He wants us to reveal to the world by loving our families, our spouse, other believers, the ones who don't yet know Christ......well, you get it, everybody.
Apparently, loving everybody is not easy. Look at what is happening around the world currently. Egypt, Morocco, Iran, Israel, USA, ...well, you get it, everywhere. We only have to look in our own communities, neighborhoods, and, yes, even our own homes to see the struggle to love and the hope of being loved. When we are alone, lonely and hurting, time starts to drag and seemingly we will be lonely, hurt, or sad from now on. Time stands still; well, not really. Hopefully, prayerfully, something happens to change that and God enters the picture with someone to love us: a child, our spouse, a friend, God Himself.
I have discovered another time when it slows to a crawl - I am speaking of those times when I am looking into my wife's eyes and we are talking. No, really, don't stop reading thinking I am going off into a romantic rant. When Carol and I are talking and I am really listening, time slows down. I had not noticed the time warp ever before, but a few weeks ago we did something that helped me realize this powerful truth. On our anniversary, as money was tight, I wrote 38 things to do together and gave her the list for our 38th Anniversary. One of those items was to sit for 3 minutes and just look at each other eye to eye without saying anything. The result was magical. I don't think I had ever done it and now hope it will become a habit. Maybe daily.....or not...but at least weekly as a part of a night out or time in when we are not occupied or when we travel together and have time during a flight, but I must make time to experience time slowing down in such a wonderfully uncomfortable way that I want to stay there.....with Carol and I mean truly with her. We are together and not alone and we get it.
We, last week, had the privilege of attending a powerful marriage intensive at WinShape Conference Center in Rome, Georgia, on the campus of Berry College. As each couple shared their story, carefully and with caring people present examined the variables that have taken our marriages to their current level of health and dysfunction, miracles of insight and awareness and perspective and change happened before our eyes. The principles from scripture that worked so powerfully to open hearts (not every heart) and give hope are those same principles Carol and I learned and have been experiencing over the past 16 years since our marriage renaissance occurred in 1994. I was reminded why I am so passionate about getting these truths out to the Church and through the Church to every community everywhere. God's Word is living and He is still changing us to love more as He does. There is no end to the beauty of His love or to the power of its passion.
When God's love happens, we are not alone, and our faith in Him grows to the place where we can love even when love is not returned. But when love happens and is shared in a marriage and a home, the people in it can grab hold of time in ways that don't stop it or even truly slow it down, but in ways that make it count and use it to invest in relationships that last and love that changes us into the likeness of Jesus. Jesus said that they would know we are His disciples if we have love for one another. Today and in your tomorrows, if you can....if you will, find somebody or a few somebodies you love and ask them for 1 minute. Tell them they don't have to say anything or do anything except let you look into their eyes. As you look into their eyes, ask God to reveal to your their great value, their worth, His attitude toward them, and to let your love for them escape your busy world and enter their heart so they'll know how loved they are by another human being as time stands still....at least seems to .. for you both.
Often tempted to settle for the watered-down version of love the world and satan offer, nothing outshines the love God reveals to us in Christ Jesus. Don't you wish Adam and Eve had realized how precious God's love is and refused the fruit rather than opening the door to sin and sin's painful results? I know Jesus wished that none of us had sinned. We can't blame Him, can we? Look what price He paid to convince us that the Father loved us before and loves us still. This love is the kind of love He wants us to reveal to the world by loving our families, our spouse, other believers, the ones who don't yet know Christ......well, you get it, everybody.
Apparently, loving everybody is not easy. Look at what is happening around the world currently. Egypt, Morocco, Iran, Israel, USA, ...well, you get it, everywhere. We only have to look in our own communities, neighborhoods, and, yes, even our own homes to see the struggle to love and the hope of being loved. When we are alone, lonely and hurting, time starts to drag and seemingly we will be lonely, hurt, or sad from now on. Time stands still; well, not really. Hopefully, prayerfully, something happens to change that and God enters the picture with someone to love us: a child, our spouse, a friend, God Himself.
I have discovered another time when it slows to a crawl - I am speaking of those times when I am looking into my wife's eyes and we are talking. No, really, don't stop reading thinking I am going off into a romantic rant. When Carol and I are talking and I am really listening, time slows down. I had not noticed the time warp ever before, but a few weeks ago we did something that helped me realize this powerful truth. On our anniversary, as money was tight, I wrote 38 things to do together and gave her the list for our 38th Anniversary. One of those items was to sit for 3 minutes and just look at each other eye to eye without saying anything. The result was magical. I don't think I had ever done it and now hope it will become a habit. Maybe daily.....or not...but at least weekly as a part of a night out or time in when we are not occupied or when we travel together and have time during a flight, but I must make time to experience time slowing down in such a wonderfully uncomfortable way that I want to stay there.....with Carol and I mean truly with her. We are together and not alone and we get it.
We, last week, had the privilege of attending a powerful marriage intensive at WinShape Conference Center in Rome, Georgia, on the campus of Berry College. As each couple shared their story, carefully and with caring people present examined the variables that have taken our marriages to their current level of health and dysfunction, miracles of insight and awareness and perspective and change happened before our eyes. The principles from scripture that worked so powerfully to open hearts (not every heart) and give hope are those same principles Carol and I learned and have been experiencing over the past 16 years since our marriage renaissance occurred in 1994. I was reminded why I am so passionate about getting these truths out to the Church and through the Church to every community everywhere. God's Word is living and He is still changing us to love more as He does. There is no end to the beauty of His love or to the power of its passion.
When God's love happens, we are not alone, and our faith in Him grows to the place where we can love even when love is not returned. But when love happens and is shared in a marriage and a home, the people in it can grab hold of time in ways that don't stop it or even truly slow it down, but in ways that make it count and use it to invest in relationships that last and love that changes us into the likeness of Jesus. Jesus said that they would know we are His disciples if we have love for one another. Today and in your tomorrows, if you can....if you will, find somebody or a few somebodies you love and ask them for 1 minute. Tell them they don't have to say anything or do anything except let you look into their eyes. As you look into their eyes, ask God to reveal to your their great value, their worth, His attitude toward them, and to let your love for them escape your busy world and enter their heart so they'll know how loved they are by another human being as time stands still....at least seems to .. for you both.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
God provides again
As I did the home and ministry finances last week, I realized we were about to run out of money before we ran out of month. I decided to try not to panic but to run to my Father. I was still somewhat anxious but was able to rest in the knowledge that He called us out to this ministry and He keeps His promises to provide our needs. So, I prayed, talked it through with Carol, and we prayed.
The next day I taught all day for the missions ministry of North Point to help prepare their volunteers to lead teams of short term missionaries during the year 2011. We had a blast! What a wonderful group of leaders.
During a lull in the action, Lisa Gore brought me a contract to sign so that I could be paid for leading the event. I had not told them what to pay. In fact, we do what we do based on donations and don't charge a fixed amount. I would have been pleased with whatever they chose to give/pay. What the GlobalX staff didn't know is that I had moved a certain amount from savings to checking on Friday night during my financial review. In my view it was substantial and I knew I could not keep that up each week or month without some hefty donations coming in from God's supply.
When I took the paper to complete the address, social security number, etc. on the contract I saw the amount of the contract and it hit me later .... after signing it and going back to leading the event...that the amount they had given me on the contract was the exact dollar amount that I had moved from savings the night before. I just smiled really big inside and out.
Praise my Father who knows "what I need even before I ask Him". Isn't that exactly what Jesus said our Father would do. Thanks for praying for us and thanks for trusting God in your life in ways that are just as obvious to you that He loves you and will meet you at your greatest point of need.
Now, we are seeing more couples coming to the site for mentoring and for conferences. Couple #1 continues to fight for their marriage and they are winning against the Enemy of our souls. Couples #2 has asked for mentoring and they are from another country. Couples #3 is local and Couple #4 is interested in a marriage conference for their church and community. Here we go!
The next day I taught all day for the missions ministry of North Point to help prepare their volunteers to lead teams of short term missionaries during the year 2011. We had a blast! What a wonderful group of leaders.
During a lull in the action, Lisa Gore brought me a contract to sign so that I could be paid for leading the event. I had not told them what to pay. In fact, we do what we do based on donations and don't charge a fixed amount. I would have been pleased with whatever they chose to give/pay. What the GlobalX staff didn't know is that I had moved a certain amount from savings to checking on Friday night during my financial review. In my view it was substantial and I knew I could not keep that up each week or month without some hefty donations coming in from God's supply.
When I took the paper to complete the address, social security number, etc. on the contract I saw the amount of the contract and it hit me later .... after signing it and going back to leading the event...that the amount they had given me on the contract was the exact dollar amount that I had moved from savings the night before. I just smiled really big inside and out.
Praise my Father who knows "what I need even before I ask Him". Isn't that exactly what Jesus said our Father would do. Thanks for praying for us and thanks for trusting God in your life in ways that are just as obvious to you that He loves you and will meet you at your greatest point of need.
Now, we are seeing more couples coming to the site for mentoring and for conferences. Couple #1 continues to fight for their marriage and they are winning against the Enemy of our souls. Couples #2 has asked for mentoring and they are from another country. Couples #3 is local and Couple #4 is interested in a marriage conference for their church and community. Here we go!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
I knew it was going to be a process, but....
Who could have known things would be so tough along this journey? I have been feeling sorry for myself lately and singing "Oh, Woe Is Me". Have you ever sung that song of self-pity? I have sung it in the past but not this many verses.
Conversations and prayer with some family, friends (Mark and Tom) and our Board have helped me regain perspective...God's over mine.
Can you imagine that when my perspective is the place where my thoughts live, I get down (I mean discouraged not "get down" as in dancing..remember I am an older guy)?
But when my Father's perspective rules my thoughts, I get His peace, understand His love, and enjoy great hope in Him (and feel like dancing and sometimes I actually do)!
So, by faith, I say today that my God "shall supply all your (my) needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus", not because I think it is true but because He said it. That settles it. Philippians 4:6,7, 19 are some of my 2011 verses to pray for my own spiritual health.
When we started this venture, I did the best I knew to communicate it to my family, but I realize I didn't do a very good job. I have put Carol, especially, in a very difficult place by possibly moving ahead without her buy in, at least to the degree I should have. However, here we are, and we are more on the same page, singing the same song, and trusting God for His will to be done "on earth (in our lives) as it is in heaven" as ever.
Our Couple #1 and now perhaps Couples #2 and #3 will receive the best care and love we can give them as we, by God's grace, watch the Holy Spirit move to heal marriages, and then use them mightily to influence 1000's of other couples to exhibit the love of Jesus powerfully at home, in churches, and communities around the world.
Conversations and prayer with some family, friends (Mark and Tom) and our Board have helped me regain perspective...God's over mine.
Mine = problem is too big, resources are too small, life is too short, and the hindrances are too strong
God's = He is bigger than any challenge, His resources are unlimited, eternity is timeless and this life is simply preparation for eternity, and no hindrance can stand against His will and power.
Can you imagine that when my perspective is the place where my thoughts live, I get down (I mean discouraged not "get down" as in dancing..remember I am an older guy)?
But when my Father's perspective rules my thoughts, I get His peace, understand His love, and enjoy great hope in Him (and feel like dancing and sometimes I actually do)!
So, by faith, I say today that my God "shall supply all your (my) needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus", not because I think it is true but because He said it. That settles it. Philippians 4:6,7, 19 are some of my 2011 verses to pray for my own spiritual health.
When we started this venture, I did the best I knew to communicate it to my family, but I realize I didn't do a very good job. I have put Carol, especially, in a very difficult place by possibly moving ahead without her buy in, at least to the degree I should have. However, here we are, and we are more on the same page, singing the same song, and trusting God for His will to be done "on earth (in our lives) as it is in heaven" as ever.
Our Couple #1 and now perhaps Couples #2 and #3 will receive the best care and love we can give them as we, by God's grace, watch the Holy Spirit move to heal marriages, and then use them mightily to influence 1000's of other couples to exhibit the love of Jesus powerfully at home, in churches, and communities around the world.
- The Problem: not too big for God to solve and in Christ it is solved already, we await the revelation of His solution
- The Resources: are around us in abundance, "God's work done God's way will not lack God's supplies" - not my original thought but borrowed from Hudson Taylor
- The Life: though not void of challenges is abundant nonetheless; an eye on eternity keeps this life in true focus
- The Hindrances: though real, are only temporary and will not stop the will of God from being done!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
We're Baaaack!
We didn't quite beat the snow! That made the last 15 miles or 40 minutes of the journey treacherous and exciting; thus, our trip up the slippery driveway was slow (took me 3 attempts to make it to the top) but brought great relief to actually be home and out of the "blizzard".
Since we got home we've taken more steps toward putting final building blocks in place for TBI. Couple #1 continues to make progress. We love them and trust God will continue the miracle work they desire and need. (Don't we all?) There are now 3 or 4 retreat/conferences in the discussion and planning stages for this year. Awesome!
I continue to marvel at how intimately God knows me and us; and I stand amazed to see His miracles of healing relationships, saving souls, providing resources, and delivering lives. Jesus truly is a wonderful Savior and Friend.
Since we got home we've taken more steps toward putting final building blocks in place for TBI. Couple #1 continues to make progress. We love them and trust God will continue the miracle work they desire and need. (Don't we all?) There are now 3 or 4 retreat/conferences in the discussion and planning stages for this year. Awesome!
I continue to marvel at how intimately God knows me and us; and I stand amazed to see His miracles of healing relationships, saving souls, providing resources, and delivering lives. Jesus truly is a wonderful Savior and Friend.
67 Years in the Same House
Can you believe it? You certainly don't hear about this very often, but I know a wonderful Christian lady, my mother - Mae Evelyn Lewis, who has lived in the same house for 67 years. I would tell you which of my brothers was just a few weeks old when Mom and Dad moved there, but that would give away his age. He looks much younger than that. :)
As I sat around the table with some of my other family and my Mom, we talked and laughed about old times and memories of Dad. He has been with Jesus for 34 years this April. While we were talking it struck me how blessed I am to have renewed relationship and loving fellowship with many of my extended family. I personally think we've come a long way to this "better place" as a family.
I give the glory to Jesus because He has pursued us, picked us up, forgiven us, taught us, taught us again, and simply produced His love in us and shown us how to give it away. Love is a great thing(the greatest thing if I remember correctly), but it is hard to consistently demonstrate.
Our sweet Mom has certainly tried to do that in greater and greater ways all her life. For a 97, almost 98, year old lady, I think she is amazing. She is happy and free not bitter and hardened as many expect "old people" to become. Her freedom and growth in love for God and for us are parts of the legacy she is passing to us.
I leave Kentucky today after celebrating my brother-in-law Sammy's birthday, finding out my only sister may have a spot of cancer on her pancreas (more tests to come), visiting with Carol's brother's family in Paducah, and learning more about my Mom than I knew before I came. I will pick up Carol and Jeanne in Lexington, KY on the way back home, and hopefully we'll get there before the big snow storm hits north Georgia.
I am more convinced after several conversations here with family, friends, and a timely email encouragement from a friend back in Cumming that the journey we are on with The Basic Idea Ministries is truly about as basic as it gets. Learning to love, to love again, to know how loved we are, you are, and "letting our roots grow deeply into the soil of God's love" forms the only worthy foundation on which to build our lives. I am so glad God IS love and that His love is clearly seen in the rising of the sun, the provisions to meet our needs....all of them, and the sure hope of being with Him forever by simple faith in a loving Savior, Jesus Christ, who truly came to offer Himself as my substitute on a Roman cross. He loves me and you and nothing can ever change that truth.
As I sat around the table with some of my other family and my Mom, we talked and laughed about old times and memories of Dad. He has been with Jesus for 34 years this April. While we were talking it struck me how blessed I am to have renewed relationship and loving fellowship with many of my extended family. I personally think we've come a long way to this "better place" as a family.
I give the glory to Jesus because He has pursued us, picked us up, forgiven us, taught us, taught us again, and simply produced His love in us and shown us how to give it away. Love is a great thing(the greatest thing if I remember correctly), but it is hard to consistently demonstrate.
Our sweet Mom has certainly tried to do that in greater and greater ways all her life. For a 97, almost 98, year old lady, I think she is amazing. She is happy and free not bitter and hardened as many expect "old people" to become. Her freedom and growth in love for God and for us are parts of the legacy she is passing to us.
I leave Kentucky today after celebrating my brother-in-law Sammy's birthday, finding out my only sister may have a spot of cancer on her pancreas (more tests to come), visiting with Carol's brother's family in Paducah, and learning more about my Mom than I knew before I came. I will pick up Carol and Jeanne in Lexington, KY on the way back home, and hopefully we'll get there before the big snow storm hits north Georgia.
I am more convinced after several conversations here with family, friends, and a timely email encouragement from a friend back in Cumming that the journey we are on with The Basic Idea Ministries is truly about as basic as it gets. Learning to love, to love again, to know how loved we are, you are, and "letting our roots grow deeply into the soil of God's love" forms the only worthy foundation on which to build our lives. I am so glad God IS love and that His love is clearly seen in the rising of the sun, the provisions to meet our needs....all of them, and the sure hope of being with Him forever by simple faith in a loving Savior, Jesus Christ, who truly came to offer Himself as my substitute on a Roman cross. He loves me and you and nothing can ever change that truth.
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