Monday, February 21, 2011

Wow, time flies.....except when it doesn't!

I can't believe it has been over 2 weeks since I posted.  Since the last time, much has changed.  We find ourselves with 5 couples involved in TBI in varying degrees.  Couple #1 is still making progress for which only God can receive the honor, and we praise Him for loving them and us enough to fight for our marriages.  Apparently, love is a really big deal to Him!

Often tempted to settle for the watered-down version of love the world and satan offer, nothing outshines the love God reveals to us in Christ Jesus.  Don't you wish Adam and Eve had realized how precious God's love is and refused the fruit rather than opening the door to sin and sin's painful results?  I know Jesus wished that none of us had sinned.  We can't blame Him, can we?  Look what price He paid to convince us that the Father loved us before and loves us still.  This love is the kind of love He wants us to reveal to the world by loving our families, our spouse, other believers, the ones who don't yet know Christ......well, you get it, everybody.

Apparently, loving everybody is not easy.  Look at what is happening around the world currently.  Egypt, Morocco, Iran, Israel, USA, ...well, you get it, everywhere.  We only have to look in our own communities, neighborhoods, and, yes, even our own homes to see the struggle to love and the hope of being loved. When we are alone, lonely and hurting, time starts to drag and seemingly we will be lonely, hurt, or sad from now on.  Time stands still; well, not really.  Hopefully, prayerfully, something happens to change that and God enters the picture with someone to love us:  a child, our spouse, a friend, God Himself.

I have discovered another time when it slows to a crawl - I am speaking of those times when I am looking into my wife's eyes and we are talking.  No, really, don't stop reading thinking I am going off into a romantic rant.  When Carol and I are talking and I am really listening, time slows down.  I had not noticed the time warp ever before, but a few weeks ago we did something that helped me realize this powerful truth.  On our anniversary, as money was tight, I wrote 38 things to do together and gave her the list for our 38th Anniversary.  One of those items was to sit for 3 minutes and just look at each other eye to eye without saying anything.  The result was magical.  I don't think I had ever done it and now hope it will become a habit.  Maybe daily.....or not...but at least weekly as a part of a night out or time in when we are not occupied or when we travel together and have time during a flight, but I must make time to experience time slowing down in such a wonderfully uncomfortable way that I want to stay there.....with Carol and I mean truly with her.  We are together and not alone and we get it.

We, last week, had the privilege of attending a powerful marriage intensive at WinShape Conference Center in Rome, Georgia, on the campus of Berry College.  As each couple shared their story, carefully and with caring people present examined the variables that have taken our marriages to their current level of health and dysfunction, miracles of insight and awareness and perspective and change happened before our eyes.  The principles from scripture that worked so powerfully to open hearts (not every heart) and give hope are those same principles Carol and I learned and have been experiencing over the past 16 years since our marriage renaissance occurred in 1994.  I was reminded why I am so passionate about getting these truths out to the Church and through the Church to every community everywhere.  God's Word is living and He is still changing us to love more as He does.  There is no end to the beauty of His love or to the power of its passion.

When God's love happens, we are not alone, and our faith in Him grows to the place where we can love even when love is not returned.  But when love happens and is shared in a marriage and a home, the people in it can grab hold of time in ways that don't stop it or even truly slow it down, but in ways that make it count and use it to invest in relationships that last and love that changes us into the likeness of Jesus.  Jesus said that they would know we are His disciples if we have love for one another.  Today and in your tomorrows, if you can....if you will, find somebody or a few somebodies you love and ask them for 1 minute.  Tell them they don't have to say anything or do anything except let you look into their eyes.  As you look into their eyes, ask God to reveal to your their great value, their worth, His attitude toward them, and to let your love for them escape your busy world and enter their heart so they'll know how loved they are by another human being as time stands still....at least seems to .. for you both.

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