Time has done it again. Here we are three weeks after my last post and it seems like just a little while...
Can't stop it so we'll use it!
Flash! To use time instead of spending it or wasting it we must learn to walk in the truth!
For instance, Carol and I have worked with hundreds of couples through the years; and as many of you know, we have experienced/are experiencing renewal and revival of love in our marriage. I discovered a common thread in the lies couples in trouble accept as true.
The Lie is "it is OK with God for me to stop pursuing my spouses heart", or stated another way, "when my spouse disappoints me enough, then God won't mind if I stop loving him/her".
As soon as you or I accept that lie as truth, we will create a life path away from intimacy on all levels and investment into marriage. Our heart opens to other possibilities and people to replace our "other half" as "another other half". The new focus may not be an affair with a person, but it certainly will constitute emotional and spiritual adultery.
I can't remember how many exactly, but many divorced couples have told me this same line, "If I had invested as much time in saving my marriage as in destroying it, I would still be married to my first spouse.". Somewhere along the way one of the spouses believed The Lie about being OK with God to stop loving, and when that lie was accepted as truth, everything began to unravel rapidly and, seemingly, irreparably.
Today, when I feel it is OK to stop loving Carol, even for a moment,because she somehow hurts or disappoints me, at that point in time I will make a choice. Either I will choose to agree with The Lie and move to a sustained anger, or I will choose to call on the love God gave me in the power of His Holy Spirit and give Carol grace and forgiveness before being asked. In other words Jesus Christ gives me the power to love Carol exactly the way I want her to love me-with grace, forgiveness, and kindness in good times and tough times.
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