As a boy, I, along with my not-so-wise friends attempted to start a fire in the woods so we could be Daniel Boone or just real woodsmen. We carefully moved the deep layer of leaves away from a spot and encircled the spot with rocks. In our attempt to be good, wise stewards of fire and the forest, we ignorantly did not include a source of water or a shovel for smothering the fire with dirt in case things got out of hand. Well, they did get out of hand and quickly. A gusty wind blew the sparks into the dry leaves just outside the circle of rocks and in minutes the area around the campfires was ablaze. We stomped and made things worse. Suddenly we saw some neighborhood men running our way and heard sirens blaring, approaching our location.
When we started the day we were happily making our campfire, then we became fearful as the sparks blew - shocked that the fire got out of control so quickly - desperate for help from anybody or anywhere - comforted to know men who knew what to do were now at our side - anxious to know that the authorities were now coming - relieved that the fire was out and that we were not going to jail - anxious again imagining the reaction of our parents, and at peace that night as we slept in our own beds (not in jail) with the knowledge that the damage we'd done was minor. We came close to burning down our favorite source of childhood adventure... the woods behind my house.
Do you agree that we are in trouble in our country, in your country, in your state/province, in your county or parish, and on down to the neighbors around you. I now believe more strongly than ever that "as goes the family, so goes the nation". But in most places I have traveled in the world, marriage and the family are "on fire", not a helpful controlled-burn but an out-of-control raging inferno that is leaving charred ruins in its path.
Recently my thoughts about what is happening in our world have turned to the idea of "control". When you and I attempt to answer the question: "Who controls my life?", we get to the heart of the issue. As the reality of God's love and power slip from our individual consciousness and eventually our national world-view, many other entities spring into the void left in our "control center".
Some actually believe they don't need God at all; they attempt self-regulation without the influence of the God who made them. That is about as foolish a conclusion as one can reach. Does anyone, who has been still long enough to appreciate the beautifully complex simplicity of the natural world or of human relationships, actually believe that all of this was accidental. From what I have studied and observed, I feel that many citizens of this world have thrown out the notion of a loving God Who powerfully controls the universe and authors life and eternity. The conclusion they reach may be due to the combination of lonely, loveless lives mixed with a sin nature that tries very hard to live life without being under authority, especially God's.
Our aloneness from Genesis 2:18 and our sin nature described in Genesis 3 make a potentially explosive mixture capable of either our own destruction or for great impact in the world. Fire can be good or bad, right? So, you can prevent a person from freezing or you can burn down his home with the same fire. It all depends. Is the fire under control or not?
Think of your own life as we apply the "fire under control" or "fire out of control" idea. Have you felt the sting of being lonely or ever felt unloved? With what did you combine your Genesis 2 aloneness to deal with the pain of rejection or lack of acceptance? Did you run to God for help and ask for His solution? Did you take matters into your own hands and with Genesis 3-motivation determine to be happy no matter what? Even if you have had a story-book life, you are not exempt from making bad decisions to maintain your own sense of happiness or control. Remember Genesis 3 fallen-ness has tainted us all.
On the other hand, did you move into an era of faith trusting God for His blessed outcome or did you stumble into the next weeks and months only to discover your chosen solution was no solution at all? Some choose another relationship to fill the lonely void inside, some choose a substance to abuse, some spend money, some borrow against their future with deep debt in order to feel they are still in control, some dive into business and busy-ness, and others get very religious in an attempt to "make a deal" with God or their version of god. Some give up altogether and give in to live completely out-of-control lives with little thought of who got or will get burned by their chosen course.
The description above illustrates how we, as a nation have come to our current concept of God-less self-control, because a nation is simply a collection of individuals. Can you see why many husbands and wives have chosen divorce rather than finding another way to resolve differences? Can you see why some parents have delegated, intentionally or not, their father- or mother-roles to others in the schools, churches, youth organizations, day-care centers, and even law enforcement? How many family legacies have been corrupted by our attempts to fill a lonely soul with a God-free resource that left the lonely soul even lonelier than before and left others hurting in the wake? How many newly created lonely souls will be tempted to do the same thing in the coming generations? How will it end? Who will save us from this tsunami of cultural pain and an out-of-control raging firestorm?
Though my answer is simple, it is the only answer worth pursuing. Jesus IS the Way and the Truth and the Life. Jesus does answer the questions of a lonely soul and a sinful nature. His great love for each of us available to each of us answers the Genesis 2 problem of "aloneness", and His great sacrifice in payment for our horrible sin along with His powerful resurrection fills the void of our Genesis 3 dilemma.
What if husbands turned to Jesus in faith for the power to love even when the wife does not? What if wives gave control of their fears to Christ Jesus rather than take the cultural "out" of divorce or affairs to try to satisfy their own need for security? What if parents assumed the roles and prayed together for the wisdom and power to love and appropriately discipline their children? We will discovering that God, the Perfect Father, has great ideas about discipline that start with love and include multiple forms of correction, not just "the rod" as some believe.
What if loneliness/aloneness in life was joined with faith so that God's resources and solutions could be discovered and implemented? What if a legacy of loving faith were the exact outcome God designed us to experience? Does this mean everything works out with ease and comfort? Certainly not. But more would see purpose and healthy outcomes if the fires of life were controlled by the One Who created fire in the first place and even built us to contain it, control it, and use if for great purposes to purify, warm, heal, and give light rather than steal, kill, and destroy?
Both the Genesis 2 and Genesis 3 dilemmas, though potentially destructive, can be turned to great joy and do great good when placed in the capable control of the God of the Universe Who knew all along that this was going to happen, but loved us so much He was willing to sacrifice His only Son Jesus so the fires of pain and guilt would result in a purified life made in His own image and full of His own love.
I have asked tons of questions in this blog post, I know. Have you noticed or can you remember specific ways you have misused the fire or allowed it to get out of control thinking you could control it yourself? The God of the Universe offers a partnership with you to lead you into the fires of life and carry you through them, allowing only those things to burned away that should be burned away, all the while keeping you safe by His power? Romans 8:29 makes it clear that all that is not of Christ in us will be burned in this purifying process.
Do you see any connection between the forest fire my friends and I started and the fires of life you have started in the past? Who did God send to rescue you from your choice? Have you expressed gratitude to them or to God for His faithful care over you? I think I will right now.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
A Truthful Twist on "Honoring Your Father and Mother"
Often, couples working through the TBI marriage principles become confused when we ask them to evaluate the example their parents set for them. We ask if they want their marriage to imitate that of their parents. Most of the time we get answers of "No" or "No way!"
When we are asked to justify our request to examine the relational "good, bad, and ugly" from the families of origin, we sometimes hesitate to assess it because we don't want to speak badly about either a parent, their relationship with each other, or their relationship with us. That hesitation is not a bad thing, necessarily; but not assessing our home of origin relationships is very unhealthy, potentially lethal to our own marriage and relationships with our children.
How can we heal our damaged soul or experience a growing relationship with our spouse if we don't realize the damage (if any) and accept God's power to heal us? Answer: we probably can't. You may be the exception to the rule, but most of us won't get treatment for a disease until we know we have it. Likewise, most of us have not dealt with relational disease from homes of origin because we don't recognize the symptoms.
One simple question to ask is this: In what ways do I want my marriage to be just like the one or ones I observed in my childhood - parents, grandparents, neighbors, etc.?
Where you see the "not good" of couples (parents, especially) who were not known well in their marriage, who didn't know how to resolve conflict, who acted as though there was no conflict when conflict was obvious to all, or who simply did not show the love of Jesus accurately or consistently, you will realize you may have some healing to do and some new skills to develop.
Back to Honoring our Father and Mother:
Last question of the blog post:
Would it honor your parents if you love your family (spouse and children) better than your parents loved each other or loved you?
Last answer of the blog post:
You bet it would!
That is the idea - to take what we got from our parents and appreciate the good, heal from the bad and ugly, then grow to love our spouse and children even more as Christ loves us. John 13:34, 35 is a "new commandment", as Jesus called it, because for many the "old" love they received is not only a watered-down tolerance for others, but stale and perhaps painful, and not love at all.
Let's trust God for a I Corinthians 13 love in our marriage and parenting. If we can do it there-behind closed doors, the relationships outside the home will reap the benefit of our being trained in giving and receiving love. When the Love-based life you live inside the home matches the life you live outside it, it truly simplifies things.
Too often we give our better effort of conscientiously loving others outside the home rather than to spouse, kids, or parents. True? I hope it is not true for you or me ... any more!
May it not be true of us going forward.
Let's love well, as Jesus empowers and commands, starting at home so the next generation has less to forgive and more modeling of healthy love-skills to launch them into abundance in their relationships. As our children and others who model their marriage after ours seek to honor us, they'll heal from the bad and ugly, appreciate the good, and build a more loving home for their children....and on and on it goes until Jesus returns.
You are I are legacy builders, aren't we? Let's build great ones for our part. Others will have to make their own choices, but as "for me and my house" we will by God's grace serve the Lord and love each other well.
Joshua 24:15b
When we are asked to justify our request to examine the relational "good, bad, and ugly" from the families of origin, we sometimes hesitate to assess it because we don't want to speak badly about either a parent, their relationship with each other, or their relationship with us. That hesitation is not a bad thing, necessarily; but not assessing our home of origin relationships is very unhealthy, potentially lethal to our own marriage and relationships with our children.
How can we heal our damaged soul or experience a growing relationship with our spouse if we don't realize the damage (if any) and accept God's power to heal us? Answer: we probably can't. You may be the exception to the rule, but most of us won't get treatment for a disease until we know we have it. Likewise, most of us have not dealt with relational disease from homes of origin because we don't recognize the symptoms.
One simple question to ask is this: In what ways do I want my marriage to be just like the one or ones I observed in my childhood - parents, grandparents, neighbors, etc.?
Where you see the "not good" of couples (parents, especially) who were not known well in their marriage, who didn't know how to resolve conflict, who acted as though there was no conflict when conflict was obvious to all, or who simply did not show the love of Jesus accurately or consistently, you will realize you may have some healing to do and some new skills to develop.
Back to Honoring our Father and Mother:
Last question of the blog post:
Would it honor your parents if you love your family (spouse and children) better than your parents loved each other or loved you?
Last answer of the blog post:
You bet it would!
That is the idea - to take what we got from our parents and appreciate the good, heal from the bad and ugly, then grow to love our spouse and children even more as Christ loves us. John 13:34, 35 is a "new commandment", as Jesus called it, because for many the "old" love they received is not only a watered-down tolerance for others, but stale and perhaps painful, and not love at all.
Let's trust God for a I Corinthians 13 love in our marriage and parenting. If we can do it there-behind closed doors, the relationships outside the home will reap the benefit of our being trained in giving and receiving love. When the Love-based life you live inside the home matches the life you live outside it, it truly simplifies things.
Too often we give our better effort of conscientiously loving others outside the home rather than to spouse, kids, or parents. True? I hope it is not true for you or me ... any more!
May it not be true of us going forward.
Let's love well, as Jesus empowers and commands, starting at home so the next generation has less to forgive and more modeling of healthy love-skills to launch them into abundance in their relationships. As our children and others who model their marriage after ours seek to honor us, they'll heal from the bad and ugly, appreciate the good, and build a more loving home for their children....and on and on it goes until Jesus returns.
You are I are legacy builders, aren't we? Let's build great ones for our part. Others will have to make their own choices, but as "for me and my house" we will by God's grace serve the Lord and love each other well.
Joshua 24:15b
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Upward Momentum is a Good Thing
No one likes to fail. When things fall apart on several fronts all at once, feeling like a failure just seems logical, but Jesus defies our human logic with a love and perspective we can't have without Him.
The Jesus' perspective: regardless of my current circumstances, I have hope...for this life and the hereafter. Since we are all going to be ushered into eternity one day, and we know it; we have a wonderful chance to help others gain the Jesus' perspective.
Everyone who encountered Jesus saw evidence of hope, whether or not they believed in Him to be the Son of God. When Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, many believed and saw hope for the future in light of Jesus' power over death, yet some ignored the miraculous to simply become "whistle blowers". These people, who saw the same thing others saw but interpreted the miracle as a bad thing or passed it off as some trick, reported to the corrupt religious leaders of the day; who, in turn, decided both Lazarus and Jesus needed to be terminated.
Many others found hope in this miracle-worker Jesus. Do you? Do I?
Yes, I do. My simple conclusion is that at times when I have no idea whether what we at TBI are doing will impact anyone else - anywhere else, Jesus' clear call on my life means that He is my hope and the results are His, not mine. When the resources we need are thin or not yet in view, Jesus Who loves and saves me, brings what He has for us into view when He is ready to reveal it. His provision is ample to the need, as He sees it - relative to our involvement in His kingdom work. After all, it is not my work, but His work that we are called to complete by His power.
Currently, I see an upward momentum both in results of ministry invested, the number of inquiries about this ministry, and the level of resources being given through TBI Ministries. I am grateful to God for His provision and His power being revealed in changed lives.
Recently a gentleman called to check up with our situation and hear about our next ministry venture. As we spoke, he asked about how much we needed to pay for a full paycheck for me, Carol, and Jeanne. Considering the fact that we three have not had a full paycheck since we started a year ago, it took me a while to calculate the amount in my head. After telling him my estimate, he said that he would cover that amount for us so that we would have a full (or very close to it) paycheck in the near future. The next day a financial blessing came his way regarding some property he needed to sell or lease. Wow, what a coincidence! :)
He blessed us with needed resources and God blessed Him with a new revenue stream that will provide the cash flow he needs to do the ministry God has called him to do. Does God always work that way? I don't think so. He is God and He works the way He chooses to work, but He loves us and works "all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose."
So whether your current life-momentum is upward or downward (in your own estimation), remember this: Our hope for here is secure and our hope for eternity is set in the faithfulness and character of our God who reveals Himself to us through His Son Jesus Christ and through His Holy Spirit. What a privilege to know we are secure for here and hereafter through the grace, power, and love of our God!
Let's be really clear in our story of God's miracle power in our own lives. He has saved us; He has provided all the needs of our lives so far and will continue; He makes life worth living by His great love for us and by the purposes to which He calls each of us. Let's finish well the work He left us here to do and let's do it so that others may know this loving, holy savior Jesus Christ. John 13: 34, 35
The Jesus' perspective: regardless of my current circumstances, I have hope...for this life and the hereafter. Since we are all going to be ushered into eternity one day, and we know it; we have a wonderful chance to help others gain the Jesus' perspective.
Everyone who encountered Jesus saw evidence of hope, whether or not they believed in Him to be the Son of God. When Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, many believed and saw hope for the future in light of Jesus' power over death, yet some ignored the miraculous to simply become "whistle blowers". These people, who saw the same thing others saw but interpreted the miracle as a bad thing or passed it off as some trick, reported to the corrupt religious leaders of the day; who, in turn, decided both Lazarus and Jesus needed to be terminated.
Many others found hope in this miracle-worker Jesus. Do you? Do I?
Yes, I do. My simple conclusion is that at times when I have no idea whether what we at TBI are doing will impact anyone else - anywhere else, Jesus' clear call on my life means that He is my hope and the results are His, not mine. When the resources we need are thin or not yet in view, Jesus Who loves and saves me, brings what He has for us into view when He is ready to reveal it. His provision is ample to the need, as He sees it - relative to our involvement in His kingdom work. After all, it is not my work, but His work that we are called to complete by His power.
Currently, I see an upward momentum both in results of ministry invested, the number of inquiries about this ministry, and the level of resources being given through TBI Ministries. I am grateful to God for His provision and His power being revealed in changed lives.
Recently a gentleman called to check up with our situation and hear about our next ministry venture. As we spoke, he asked about how much we needed to pay for a full paycheck for me, Carol, and Jeanne. Considering the fact that we three have not had a full paycheck since we started a year ago, it took me a while to calculate the amount in my head. After telling him my estimate, he said that he would cover that amount for us so that we would have a full (or very close to it) paycheck in the near future. The next day a financial blessing came his way regarding some property he needed to sell or lease. Wow, what a coincidence! :)
He blessed us with needed resources and God blessed Him with a new revenue stream that will provide the cash flow he needs to do the ministry God has called him to do. Does God always work that way? I don't think so. He is God and He works the way He chooses to work, but He loves us and works "all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose."
So whether your current life-momentum is upward or downward (in your own estimation), remember this: Our hope for here is secure and our hope for eternity is set in the faithfulness and character of our God who reveals Himself to us through His Son Jesus Christ and through His Holy Spirit. What a privilege to know we are secure for here and hereafter through the grace, power, and love of our God!
Let's be really clear in our story of God's miracle power in our own lives. He has saved us; He has provided all the needs of our lives so far and will continue; He makes life worth living by His great love for us and by the purposes to which He calls each of us. Let's finish well the work He left us here to do and let's do it so that others may know this loving, holy savior Jesus Christ. John 13: 34, 35
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