Meeting Chris Priestaff a few years ago during lunch with a mutual friend, Tyler Reagin, was a privilege. We spoke of marriage ministry, how we did it at North Point, and how I would start a marriage ministry. These guys are hilarious to be around and, at the same time, very serious about serving Jesus. After about a year, Chris and I spoke again about doing a marriage conference for some churches at Tuscarora Inn and Conference Center in Mt. Bethel, PA.
Up to this time most of our marriage/relationship conference work had been done in conjunction with either North Point's Missions team (GlobalX) or with Shad Williams Evangelistic Association (www.wegotothem.com) in 9 other countries. So when we agreed to lead the conference in Pennsylvania, we were not sure if the response would be as dramatic, life-changing, and lasting in the States as it has been every time in these other countries.
Last year in March and last weekend at Tuscarora, our Father did dramatic work helping many couples find hope and healing. When our new friend Paul DiQuattro picked us up at Allentown airport on Thursday afternoon, he shared with us the story of a couple who attended last year's conference who had come to faith, joined their church, and were serving faithfully now. He contrasted this dramatic change with where they were a year ago when they came to the conference. We later learned of another couple who'd taken divorce off their agenda and were learning to love each other as God intended.
From last year's attending couples we were thrilled to have 3 couples leading small group breakouts this year which meant we needed to bring only 2 couples with us for facilitating groups. Two of the three couples were pastor/leader couples and the other a very faithful couple serving in their church as volunteers. The point to all this is that God moved AGAIN in power as He started the healing process for many couples, led 2 couples to take divorce off their list of potential next steps....He loves to set us free to love others, especially those in our own homes and in the "household of faith".
So, God worked in PA even though Pennsylvania is Not a Foreign Country. God will do in the USA what we so desperately need Him to do: He will restore our hearts to love Him and others as we love ourselves. That is the greatest commandment according to Jesus. Actually Jesus says these are the two greatest commandments of all time and everything in life hangs on these two commandments.
He is right, isn't He? What is the solution to rising divorce, increasing disregard for marriage, burgeoning numbers family problems, societal tsunamis that are crippling the culture, and about any other issues you can name from drug abuse to violence? Loving God with all our heart and soul and mind and strength and loving our neighbors as ourselves summarizes the core problem to which Jesus Christ's love - set free to express itself in relationships - is the solution.
On the last day of the conference we spent time allowing people to express publicly what God had done in their marriages and their own heart. What a thrill to hear the specific stories of life-change, the men sharing appreciation for their spouse, their determination to lead, and the hope many felt for the first time in years. Two couples who took divorce off the table for their future discovered that they lived just a few minutes from each other and received an offer from a couple attending the conference to work with them through the Intimate Encounters material over the next several months. The couple offering to help lives near the two needing help. The very idea that 3 couples at this conference, where attendees had come from at least 4 states, could actually live so close together that they could form a small group for continued progress in their marriage is nothing short of a miracle from God.
Thanks to so many of you for praying for this conference to be used of God to see miracles happen in couples and families. Legacies of divorce and pain are being replaced by new ones filled with more of God's love and freedom than ever before. All this is a reflection of the great, great love of God.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Updates: March 5 volunteer meeting and March 11-13 marriage conference
March 5, 2011 - TBI Volunteer Opportunity Meeting and Information Update
What a blessing to meet 12 couples who have ties to Intimate Encounters ministry through North Point, Buckhead, or Browns Bridge and who have become friends along the way. We met to inform them of the latest happening through TBI and to let them know of coming opportunities to serve pastor/leader couples through this ministry. It was awesome to hear each couple give glory to God for saving/strengthening their marriage and to be reminded of the miracle work of God in so many. We think we are going to do it again April 16, Saturday. If you have not received an invitation but want to come, just go to our website and complete the Contact Us and we'll get the word out to you. OK?
Brasstown Valley Resort, North Georgia Marriage Retreat; March 11-13, 2011
Many of you know that we conducted our first TBIM Marriage Conference this weekend at Brasstown Valley. Our Lord Jesus showed up this morning with joyful praise and tear-filled gratitude from men and women as a result of the working of His Holy Spirit in loving, tender, yet convicting power on us all. Not one soul was untouched by God's gracious work and redeeming love. Couples are going away from the weekend both refreshed and challenged to take steps to keep moving toward the light God has revealed.
This great church in Cumming has never, until now, had a marriage event or investment of this kind in its couples. From the request of a young wife & mother 2 years ago, to the convincing of a leader couple in the church, to the stirrings in a man who "doesn't normally lead in this way", an anxious but obedient ladies' teacher stepped up to encourage the pastor (also fearful of this new thing they wanted to do). God worked in him to move him "to quit sitting on his hands" by showing him the need in his church of help for struggling couples, so he said "let's do this". One of the older leader couples in the church attended just to support the young "folks" and each was moved and changed while there and wants to make sure couples keep getting this kind of encouragement.
Please pray that, if God wants it, we'd one day have the opportunity to help them start an IE class/group and develop leaders for future marriage ministry. This is the next step I hope they take, but that, too, is in God's hands.
We kept to our Financial Policy and did not charge the church a fee; but they decided to take up a "love offering" for us Sunday morning after the worship service and testimony time. God supplied a very generous amount from couples who already had sacrificed to be there. That is why I don't want to charge people - but let God move and work as He wills. He knows who can and who can't / who should and should not give, and He knows that the lower the cost of the retreat, the more couples would be available to come. So we praise Him for His supply and trust Him each day for each days needs. He IS faithful.
I know that the enemy of the Church and of our Savior hates what God did this weekend, and that makes me want to do it all the time and everywhere to the glory of God. There is no way to humanly manufacture what God did this weekend, and for that and so much more we give Him honor and worship. Oh, the sweet, sweet love of Jesus was present and presided over our time together with 9 couples from this great fellowship of believers.
Now what?
Well, this very morning I received a request from a dear couple who are missionaries in Honduras. This couple has been precious to us for years as we watched them grow up in Memphis, fall in love, marry, serve Jesus together in youth ministry and now on mission in Honduras. They asked us to consider leading marriage training with their missionary team there. Is that awesome? Would you pray that if God is in it, He'd supply and make the logistics fall into place?
What a blessing to meet 12 couples who have ties to Intimate Encounters ministry through North Point, Buckhead, or Browns Bridge and who have become friends along the way. We met to inform them of the latest happening through TBI and to let them know of coming opportunities to serve pastor/leader couples through this ministry. It was awesome to hear each couple give glory to God for saving/strengthening their marriage and to be reminded of the miracle work of God in so many. We think we are going to do it again April 16, Saturday. If you have not received an invitation but want to come, just go to our website and complete the Contact Us and we'll get the word out to you. OK?
Brasstown Valley Resort, North Georgia Marriage Retreat; March 11-13, 2011
Many of you know that we conducted our first TBIM Marriage Conference this weekend at Brasstown Valley. Our Lord Jesus showed up this morning with joyful praise and tear-filled gratitude from men and women as a result of the working of His Holy Spirit in loving, tender, yet convicting power on us all. Not one soul was untouched by God's gracious work and redeeming love. Couples are going away from the weekend both refreshed and challenged to take steps to keep moving toward the light God has revealed.
This great church in Cumming has never, until now, had a marriage event or investment of this kind in its couples. From the request of a young wife & mother 2 years ago, to the convincing of a leader couple in the church, to the stirrings in a man who "doesn't normally lead in this way", an anxious but obedient ladies' teacher stepped up to encourage the pastor (also fearful of this new thing they wanted to do). God worked in him to move him "to quit sitting on his hands" by showing him the need in his church of help for struggling couples, so he said "let's do this". One of the older leader couples in the church attended just to support the young "folks" and each was moved and changed while there and wants to make sure couples keep getting this kind of encouragement.
Please pray that, if God wants it, we'd one day have the opportunity to help them start an IE class/group and develop leaders for future marriage ministry. This is the next step I hope they take, but that, too, is in God's hands.
We kept to our Financial Policy and did not charge the church a fee; but they decided to take up a "love offering" for us Sunday morning after the worship service and testimony time. God supplied a very generous amount from couples who already had sacrificed to be there. That is why I don't want to charge people - but let God move and work as He wills. He knows who can and who can't / who should and should not give, and He knows that the lower the cost of the retreat, the more couples would be available to come. So we praise Him for His supply and trust Him each day for each days needs. He IS faithful.
I know that the enemy of the Church and of our Savior hates what God did this weekend, and that makes me want to do it all the time and everywhere to the glory of God. There is no way to humanly manufacture what God did this weekend, and for that and so much more we give Him honor and worship. Oh, the sweet, sweet love of Jesus was present and presided over our time together with 9 couples from this great fellowship of believers.
Now what?
Well, this very morning I received a request from a dear couple who are missionaries in Honduras. This couple has been precious to us for years as we watched them grow up in Memphis, fall in love, marry, serve Jesus together in youth ministry and now on mission in Honduras. They asked us to consider leading marriage training with their missionary team there. Is that awesome? Would you pray that if God is in it, He'd supply and make the logistics fall into place?
"Didn't I Just Say That" and Other Insights
Time has done it again. Here we are three weeks after my last post and it seems like just a little while...
Can't stop it so we'll use it!
Flash! To use time instead of spending it or wasting it we must learn to walk in the truth!
For instance, Carol and I have worked with hundreds of couples through the years; and as many of you know, we have experienced/are experiencing renewal and revival of love in our marriage. I discovered a common thread in the lies couples in trouble accept as true.
The Lie is "it is OK with God for me to stop pursuing my spouses heart", or stated another way, "when my spouse disappoints me enough, then God won't mind if I stop loving him/her".
As soon as you or I accept that lie as truth, we will create a life path away from intimacy on all levels and investment into marriage. Our heart opens to other possibilities and people to replace our "other half" as "another other half". The new focus may not be an affair with a person, but it certainly will constitute emotional and spiritual adultery.
I can't remember how many exactly, but many divorced couples have told me this same line, "If I had invested as much time in saving my marriage as in destroying it, I would still be married to my first spouse.". Somewhere along the way one of the spouses believed The Lie about being OK with God to stop loving, and when that lie was accepted as truth, everything began to unravel rapidly and, seemingly, irreparably.
Today, when I feel it is OK to stop loving Carol, even for a moment,because she somehow hurts or disappoints me, at that point in time I will make a choice. Either I will choose to agree with The Lie and move to a sustained anger, or I will choose to call on the love God gave me in the power of His Holy Spirit and give Carol grace and forgiveness before being asked. In other words Jesus Christ gives me the power to love Carol exactly the way I want her to love me-with grace, forgiveness, and kindness in good times and tough times.
Can't stop it so we'll use it!
Flash! To use time instead of spending it or wasting it we must learn to walk in the truth!
For instance, Carol and I have worked with hundreds of couples through the years; and as many of you know, we have experienced/are experiencing renewal and revival of love in our marriage. I discovered a common thread in the lies couples in trouble accept as true.
The Lie is "it is OK with God for me to stop pursuing my spouses heart", or stated another way, "when my spouse disappoints me enough, then God won't mind if I stop loving him/her".
As soon as you or I accept that lie as truth, we will create a life path away from intimacy on all levels and investment into marriage. Our heart opens to other possibilities and people to replace our "other half" as "another other half". The new focus may not be an affair with a person, but it certainly will constitute emotional and spiritual adultery.
I can't remember how many exactly, but many divorced couples have told me this same line, "If I had invested as much time in saving my marriage as in destroying it, I would still be married to my first spouse.". Somewhere along the way one of the spouses believed The Lie about being OK with God to stop loving, and when that lie was accepted as truth, everything began to unravel rapidly and, seemingly, irreparably.
Today, when I feel it is OK to stop loving Carol, even for a moment,because she somehow hurts or disappoints me, at that point in time I will make a choice. Either I will choose to agree with The Lie and move to a sustained anger, or I will choose to call on the love God gave me in the power of His Holy Spirit and give Carol grace and forgiveness before being asked. In other words Jesus Christ gives me the power to love Carol exactly the way I want her to love me-with grace, forgiveness, and kindness in good times and tough times.
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