I found a tape (remember those cassette thingies?) today as we searched the storage room boxes. The message on the tape was dated 2004 and contained the funeral service conducted in Naples, Florida by a former pastor for a dear friend. I hope I never forget either of these great men.
Don Johnson, not the Miami Vice one, was a man who had been addicted to alcohol most of his life, ruined his family, tortured his body, and died much younger, in my opinion, than he would have had he lived free of the abuse.
Thankfully the alcohol was not Don's true or final identity. During his 5th program to beat the alcohol, Don came to faith in Jesus Christ at Dunklin Center in the everglades region of south Florida. He broke free from the "god of alcohol", that he'd worshiped most of his life, and switched to worshiping the Lord Jesus Christ. As the taped message progressed, I heard the pastor Dr. Hayes Wicker, that other great man I mentioned in the opening paragraph, reminding all of the last 2 decades of Don's life. I was struck by the power and love of God and listened in awe to the testimony of our Lord Jesus and His power to redeem, heal, renew, and resurrect a life. Don's. Mine. Yours?
Don ran from the very God who loved Him well and wanted to give him a life of abundance. Don tried for 50+ years to live a life worth living on his own terms and would have failed and died a lonely, isolated man; but our Jesus - His Lord and mine - found Don and continued to reach out a hand of love to Him though Don had slapped that hand away time and time again. I guess the hand that took the nails of the cross is not thwarted in its work by a slap from you or from me. Jesus really loves.
Don Johnson, the man I knew well from 1999 to 2001 and conversed with sporadically after 2001, was a man filled with love and acceptance. He got forgiveness from God and from those he'd wronged, especially his own family. Don and I had true spiritual fellowship with each other around the things of God. I have known many great men in my life, and Don Johnson is one of the greatest.
He didn't die wealthy or leave much behind except a powerful legacy for his family quite different from the one he'd begun years before. He left a heritage of investing in the lives of men whose lives were as lost as his had been, of loving the unlovable rejects of our society, and of watching God miraculously restore others in the way He had restored Don.
I hadn't contemplated Don's life to this degree in several years, and the exercise gripped my heart as I remembered how I loved him and he loved me, and as I realized what an impact Don Johnson had on my life for good and for eternity.
May I suggest that the ordinary man who places his life in the hands of our extraordinary Savior Jesus Christ will live an extraordinary life of accomplishment, impact, and personal peace. The high calling of God is on you and me to live a life of abundance so others will know we love as Jesus, obey God as Jesus, and produce lasting fruit in this life for eternity by the power of the Holy Spirit. Don Johnson did that and today is with His Savior and mine. Yours?
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Storage Capacity versus Unwanted Baggage
Working to clean our storage room with Carol during some free days after Christmas has prompted me to enter this post on Storage Capacity versus Unwanted Baggage. I didn't know this labor of love with Carol would have such an impact on my thinking. I did think my back might feel it more than my heart. Guess not. :)
From the December 16-18 weekend together with all 13 (now that Reagan Elizabeth Adams is out where we can see her), my Mom now 98, and my extended family in Kentucky to the December 23-25 weekend in Georgia with part of our family and some other dear friends, we may have had the greatest Christmas so far.
I know you understand that the "greatness" of this Christmas had little to do with gifts received and much to do with the gifts given and time with those we love and who love us. This year there was more joy, more peace, and more love experienced in all the places where we were privileged to have Christmas celebrations.
A question has surfaced during this time, that I want to write about and hopefully develop in coming weeks.
Here is the question:
Why can't family members be the people with whom we discuss tough issues, seek help with problems, expose needs of advice or resources, or tap expertise for starting new ventures?
This question was sparked by the realization that some, many in fact, in my extended family are hurting from a myriad of problems - some self-inflicted problems and others from circumstances of just being alive in this world. But, most of us in the family found out about the issues only after years have passed and much Unwanted Baggage is now carried by young and old alike. Even when help was offered from caring individuals in the family, that help was either ignored or refused - with the possible exception of one situation that is developing currently.
Another way to phrase the question more simply may be ...
Why don't family members trust each other reaching out for help as help is needed?
Or why do we wait so long, seek help from complete strangers, or seek no help at all when loving family members are so readily available?
I know the stock answers are pride, fear of rejection, etc. Blah, blah, blah! As real as these reasons are, my question remains.
I was told by a friend some years ago that Jewish families have the fewest number of juvenile delinquents due to the depth of the family connections and the maintenance of healthy family traditions. I don't know if that is still true, but it seems to me that Christian families should and could be equally as functional IF we translate love for each other as Jesus does.
In other words, what if we "loved one another as He loves us", if we "spoke the truth to each other in love", if we "rejoiced with those who rejoice and wept with those who week"; if we "let no corrupt communication proceed out of our mouth but only that which is good and that builds up another, speaking according to the need of the moment"; if we "did not let the sun go down on our anger"..... ? You get the idea.
Not sure about your family system, but my family - though filled with wonderful people who have much to offer - was historically a system where little deep discussion occurred, where political differences were and are points of contention rather than discussion, where more conversations were had ABOUT another family member rather than WITH that person, and where little was ever confronted in keeping with the "speak the truth in love" principle held in high esteem in scripture as a sign of maturity much like that of Christ's.
Consequently we - many of us....not you, I hope - walk through life with Unwanted Baggage of unresolved hurt and guilt rather than our Storage Capacity filled with wonderful memories of love given and love received. Please don't misunderstand. I don't believe we are all "walking basket cases" of bleeding hearts and phony lives. In fact, I think we've done pretty well with the truths we've experienced and the efforts we've invested in loving others as Jesus does. We Christians are still the most giving, caring, forbearing, and accepting people in the world, so far as I have seen in my travels over 40 + years of ministry. But for some reason we can do great things in the world without much assessment or examination of what is happening behind the closed doors of our own homes.
...Still blows me away to think of how little training or mentoring we get from Bible scholars, teachers, and preachers about the clear command of loving each other "as Jesus loves us". Isn't it easy to read or speak those words but hard to actually do it or know what Jesus even means by His command?
So, if you are interested in learning more about giving Jesus' love and if you have time to read a previous blog "Four Questions for Two Lists", that might be a great place to start. Reading I Corinthians 13, John 13, and Ephesians 3 and 4 give a very clear picture of how vital God's love to us and through us is. Without His love motivating our lives it seems to me that there isn't much worth doing.
We go through life accumulating Unwanted Baggage when that space in our hearts should be filled, could be filled, and by God's grace will be filled with memories of love received and given, forgiveness received and given, and abundant lives lived to the glory of God.
From the December 16-18 weekend together with all 13 (now that Reagan Elizabeth Adams is out where we can see her), my Mom now 98, and my extended family in Kentucky to the December 23-25 weekend in Georgia with part of our family and some other dear friends, we may have had the greatest Christmas so far.
I know you understand that the "greatness" of this Christmas had little to do with gifts received and much to do with the gifts given and time with those we love and who love us. This year there was more joy, more peace, and more love experienced in all the places where we were privileged to have Christmas celebrations.
A question has surfaced during this time, that I want to write about and hopefully develop in coming weeks.
Here is the question:
Why can't family members be the people with whom we discuss tough issues, seek help with problems, expose needs of advice or resources, or tap expertise for starting new ventures?
This question was sparked by the realization that some, many in fact, in my extended family are hurting from a myriad of problems - some self-inflicted problems and others from circumstances of just being alive in this world. But, most of us in the family found out about the issues only after years have passed and much Unwanted Baggage is now carried by young and old alike. Even when help was offered from caring individuals in the family, that help was either ignored or refused - with the possible exception of one situation that is developing currently.
Another way to phrase the question more simply may be ...
Why don't family members trust each other reaching out for help as help is needed?
Or why do we wait so long, seek help from complete strangers, or seek no help at all when loving family members are so readily available?
I know the stock answers are pride, fear of rejection, etc. Blah, blah, blah! As real as these reasons are, my question remains.
I was told by a friend some years ago that Jewish families have the fewest number of juvenile delinquents due to the depth of the family connections and the maintenance of healthy family traditions. I don't know if that is still true, but it seems to me that Christian families should and could be equally as functional IF we translate love for each other as Jesus does.
In other words, what if we "loved one another as He loves us", if we "spoke the truth to each other in love", if we "rejoiced with those who rejoice and wept with those who week"; if we "let no corrupt communication proceed out of our mouth but only that which is good and that builds up another, speaking according to the need of the moment"; if we "did not let the sun go down on our anger"..... ? You get the idea.
Not sure about your family system, but my family - though filled with wonderful people who have much to offer - was historically a system where little deep discussion occurred, where political differences were and are points of contention rather than discussion, where more conversations were had ABOUT another family member rather than WITH that person, and where little was ever confronted in keeping with the "speak the truth in love" principle held in high esteem in scripture as a sign of maturity much like that of Christ's.
Consequently we - many of us....not you, I hope - walk through life with Unwanted Baggage of unresolved hurt and guilt rather than our Storage Capacity filled with wonderful memories of love given and love received. Please don't misunderstand. I don't believe we are all "walking basket cases" of bleeding hearts and phony lives. In fact, I think we've done pretty well with the truths we've experienced and the efforts we've invested in loving others as Jesus does. We Christians are still the most giving, caring, forbearing, and accepting people in the world, so far as I have seen in my travels over 40 + years of ministry. But for some reason we can do great things in the world without much assessment or examination of what is happening behind the closed doors of our own homes.
...Still blows me away to think of how little training or mentoring we get from Bible scholars, teachers, and preachers about the clear command of loving each other "as Jesus loves us". Isn't it easy to read or speak those words but hard to actually do it or know what Jesus even means by His command?
So, if you are interested in learning more about giving Jesus' love and if you have time to read a previous blog "Four Questions for Two Lists", that might be a great place to start. Reading I Corinthians 13, John 13, and Ephesians 3 and 4 give a very clear picture of how vital God's love to us and through us is. Without His love motivating our lives it seems to me that there isn't much worth doing.
We go through life accumulating Unwanted Baggage when that space in our hearts should be filled, could be filled, and by God's grace will be filled with memories of love received and given, forgiveness received and given, and abundant lives lived to the glory of God.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Upside and Down - 2011 in review
The "up side" of 2011: (some of it)
We have had 4 paychecks in a row!!! Woohoo! I believe that is 10 of 26 checks for the year. Don't hear this as a complaint or a bummer. God's provision for us has come in many forms and from many places and people.
Seeing how many people believe in us and what God has called us to do brings a thrill to our hearts and a lump in our throats when we realize the responsibility to use wisely the resources God sends through others.
We saw progress in every couple with whom we've worked in mentoring this year! Not all are "out of the woods" but at least they are together still walking in the woods versus running through the woods in opposite directions. Real people have real problems and need God's real solutions from real people who love them and will patiently speak truth when the doors open to the heart.
The wonderful church in North Carolina is moving toward their own effective marriage ministry after a successful launch of an Intimate Encounters class. Thirty or so couples completed the course, and we heard several of their stories of love-filled redemption when we were on location the last few times we taught the class.
The pastor at the North Carolina church gets it and wants his family, church, and community to get how loved they are and how to love others into Christ's kingdom. He knows how the enemy of Christ hates it when the Church loves as Jesus commands and empowers, especially when the one doing the loving actually starts at home going out to serve from a base-station of authenticity and Holy Spirit power.
We got to meet a few of the couples on a deeper level and watch God transform and deepen these marriages, changing the future family tree forever. Some have begun the steps to invite Jesus to heal their pain from the past and replace dysfunction with the freedom only Christ gives.
Our conferences or speaking engagements in Mt. Bethel, Pennsylvania; Young Harris, Georgia; Tegucigalpa, Honduras; Rome, Georgia, Rock Hill, South Carolina; Austell, Georgia; Princeton, Kentucky, Concord, North Carolina, and in Kingston, Tennessee provided environments for God's hand to move in many couples to, as one lady stated it, "see God work more in a short time than she'd ever seen". Another pastor/leader admitted, after hearing another couple's story of God's healing transformation after an affair, shared humbly that "he didn't know God still did those kinds of miracles".
Mentoring several young men and being guided by trusted advisers, some on our board and some not, have resulted in deeper heart connections and friendships. No one person possesses the wisdom and maturity needed to lead a ministry, guide a family, and handle relationships adequately. We need each other. God designed the Church, the body of Christ, to function as a loving family who speak "the truth in love" and who "comfort one another" as well as "exhort one another".
I have believed for many years that a family or a Christian-led organization should function in health, care, and wisdom from God and show itself quite a different environment from what most people experience in their work place and family systems. That is the difference Jesus makes!
The "down side" of 2011: (some of it)
In my own family (extended family) we have and are experiencing some really difficult days. Among the mentor couples with whom we work, their struggles are crushing at times. Feeling rejected by those we love - in the family and outside it - as we watch unwise choices result in great pain for many leads to suffering in our hearts as well.
Struggling at times with trusting God for financial resources to keep going gets tough at times.
Seeing new responsibilities or opportunities arise and trying to discern which we do and which ones we pass by causes us heartache, since we'd like to work with and help, where possible, everyone we meet.
Seeing my family struggle through these challenges and being rejected or feeling like a "failure" when couples continue to suffer or churches focus resources on everything but marriage and family bring a level of internal conflict that must be addressed, faced, and defeated.
With all that said, our marriage is stronger; our family, more resolute; our focus, more defined; our financial situation, less stressful; our faith, more finely tuned; and God's hand, more clearly seen and felt. We believe we are doing what God has clearly called us to do in a way that only He can get the honor and praise.
I believe this to be true because financially we have nothing but His provision; ministry-wise we have no leverage or network except what He has brought and is bringing. Though we don't know all God is doing, we are amazed to see Him at work by His Holy Spirit, in the name of Jesus Christ, changing hearts, lives, families, ministries, and legacies to His glory.
So, bring on the roller coaster ride of life. We are in God's keeping and care. He has been and is faithful to keep His promises. He loves us and we prayerfully serve others to introduce them to Jesus and His love so we and they can "live loved and give love freely....starting at home".
We have had 4 paychecks in a row!!! Woohoo! I believe that is 10 of 26 checks for the year. Don't hear this as a complaint or a bummer. God's provision for us has come in many forms and from many places and people.
Seeing how many people believe in us and what God has called us to do brings a thrill to our hearts and a lump in our throats when we realize the responsibility to use wisely the resources God sends through others.
We saw progress in every couple with whom we've worked in mentoring this year! Not all are "out of the woods" but at least they are together still walking in the woods versus running through the woods in opposite directions. Real people have real problems and need God's real solutions from real people who love them and will patiently speak truth when the doors open to the heart.
The wonderful church in North Carolina is moving toward their own effective marriage ministry after a successful launch of an Intimate Encounters class. Thirty or so couples completed the course, and we heard several of their stories of love-filled redemption when we were on location the last few times we taught the class.
The pastor at the North Carolina church gets it and wants his family, church, and community to get how loved they are and how to love others into Christ's kingdom. He knows how the enemy of Christ hates it when the Church loves as Jesus commands and empowers, especially when the one doing the loving actually starts at home going out to serve from a base-station of authenticity and Holy Spirit power.
We got to meet a few of the couples on a deeper level and watch God transform and deepen these marriages, changing the future family tree forever. Some have begun the steps to invite Jesus to heal their pain from the past and replace dysfunction with the freedom only Christ gives.
Our conferences or speaking engagements in Mt. Bethel, Pennsylvania; Young Harris, Georgia; Tegucigalpa, Honduras; Rome, Georgia, Rock Hill, South Carolina; Austell, Georgia; Princeton, Kentucky, Concord, North Carolina, and in Kingston, Tennessee provided environments for God's hand to move in many couples to, as one lady stated it, "see God work more in a short time than she'd ever seen". Another pastor/leader admitted, after hearing another couple's story of God's healing transformation after an affair, shared humbly that "he didn't know God still did those kinds of miracles".
Mentoring several young men and being guided by trusted advisers, some on our board and some not, have resulted in deeper heart connections and friendships. No one person possesses the wisdom and maturity needed to lead a ministry, guide a family, and handle relationships adequately. We need each other. God designed the Church, the body of Christ, to function as a loving family who speak "the truth in love" and who "comfort one another" as well as "exhort one another".
I have believed for many years that a family or a Christian-led organization should function in health, care, and wisdom from God and show itself quite a different environment from what most people experience in their work place and family systems. That is the difference Jesus makes!
The "down side" of 2011: (some of it)
In my own family (extended family) we have and are experiencing some really difficult days. Among the mentor couples with whom we work, their struggles are crushing at times. Feeling rejected by those we love - in the family and outside it - as we watch unwise choices result in great pain for many leads to suffering in our hearts as well.
Struggling at times with trusting God for financial resources to keep going gets tough at times.
Seeing new responsibilities or opportunities arise and trying to discern which we do and which ones we pass by causes us heartache, since we'd like to work with and help, where possible, everyone we meet.
Seeing my family struggle through these challenges and being rejected or feeling like a "failure" when couples continue to suffer or churches focus resources on everything but marriage and family bring a level of internal conflict that must be addressed, faced, and defeated.
With all that said, our marriage is stronger; our family, more resolute; our focus, more defined; our financial situation, less stressful; our faith, more finely tuned; and God's hand, more clearly seen and felt. We believe we are doing what God has clearly called us to do in a way that only He can get the honor and praise.
I believe this to be true because financially we have nothing but His provision; ministry-wise we have no leverage or network except what He has brought and is bringing. Though we don't know all God is doing, we are amazed to see Him at work by His Holy Spirit, in the name of Jesus Christ, changing hearts, lives, families, ministries, and legacies to His glory.
So, bring on the roller coaster ride of life. We are in God's keeping and care. He has been and is faithful to keep His promises. He loves us and we prayerfully serve others to introduce them to Jesus and His love so we and they can "live loved and give love freely....starting at home".
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