Friday, February 13, 2015

50 Shades of Gray. Blue, and Yellow OR Jesus' Love Experienced Personally - Lived Privately and Publicly


Several years ago, I made the decision to stop trying to keep up with all aspects of our cultural free-fall.  I admit becoming volcanically angry as I watched clueless men use and abuse vulnerable women and vice-versa.  My “madness”(gray)  has now mellowed into “sadness” (blue) but my resolve (yellow) is stronger today than then.  I am resolved to be a part of the solution by living a life changed by Jesus and standing up for God’s love even if others don’t approve or erroneously believe that God can be categorized as merely distant, demanding, or hate-filled.

Before you categorize me into the realm of “religious nut-jobs”,  please allow me to tell you the reason why my “madness” turned to “sadness” and what I am praying God will do through Carol and me.

As a young teen, I began to get involved in pornography.  Though many consider it normal for young men (especially the other young men and boys around me at the time), I eventually realized it to be not only sinfully wrong but also relationally destructive.  I could tell my mind was getting programmed to “need” the stimulation.  It felt good to feel “alive” in this new, exciting period of my life.  Having no one with whom to discuss this awakening did not help.  I was on my own and coming to wrong conclusions that felt right but were truly relationship-destructive.



What I did not know about “sexuality and relationships” but have come to experience is that love does not equal lust.  Romantic attraction to another person is not to be unleashed but to be focused and framed in the context of marriage.  No wonder God places such a powerful purpose in marriage and sexual expression.  No wonder a little sexual experimentation doesn’t satisfy.  I realized this drive we’ve been given by God is a “sex drive” not a “foreplay drive”.  I realize that friendships can be deep and not at all sexual.  Our culture doesn’t promote these distinctions. 

I dated wonderful girls that I didn’t even know how to befriend.  I dated in ways that made me feel like a “real man”.  I wasn’t being “real” or a true “man”.  My methods were not even close to being productive in establishing deep friendships or lasting relationships.

In my late teens and early twenties a miracle of deliverance and discipline happened.  I discovered that I didn’t have to yield to my drive but could focus it in healthy ways.  As a 19-year old man I came to grips with what Jesus was saying to my heart by Holy Spirit living in me.  He said, “David, you do not have to be a slave to this sin.”

So, the anger I felt toward those who were messing up God’s plan was simply an outflow of the frustration I felt because I had missed His love so badly and was on the verge of being trapped myself.

His love softened my attitude toward my own failure because He forgave my sin, helped me see women in a new light, and gave me a deeper look into His great love for me and for them.  Truly, I could not love as Jesus loves as long as I was blind to how Jesus saw people.  Jesus did not see people as objects to be used but as precious creations to be loved and known.  Shortly after these events I met Carol.  We dated more wisely and married in 1972.  To this day our Father is developing deeper love for each other and a growing "like" as well.  We are friends...great friends. 

So my “madness” turns to “sadness” whenever I see others falling short of this love.  When I see the publicity and commentaries on this new movie, “Fifty Shades of Grey”, my heart breaks for those doing the acting, those they influence, and a culture careening into an abyss from which there is but one escape… Jesus’ love experienced personally then lived privately and publicly.

When God called me, and I truly know He did, into the Gospel ministry, I had no idea what the journey would entail.  At 64 I see the path Carol and I have walked as a wonderful, sometimes frightening adventure that has taken us to places all around the world and into relationships with many wonderful people.  We want every person everywhere to know this Jesus who loves them so much.  We want to help as many people as possible know how loved they are and to be able to give away this great God-love to those closest to them and to a world desperately searching for love…though many have been fooled as much as I had been. 

God used a loving couple whose lives were transformed by Jesus-love to write a book and teach principles that were revolutionary to us.  We have been teaching these Bible-principles for 20+ years to 1000’s of couples around the USA and the world.  Jesus Christ is setting us free to not only go to heaven after we die but to live abundant, loving lives while we are still living on planet earth.  Do you experience these truths in your own life?  If so, let us know.  If not but you want to, let us know.

The “madness” at culture’s free fall has turned to “sadness” over the plight of those who comprise the culture.  In the middle of it all, gladness (yellow) is taking over my heart as I see person after person, couple after couple, family after family, church after church, and community after community being set free by the powerful love of Jesus being “shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit”.  (Romans 5:5)

So please don’t just be angry at those who seem to hate the God who loves them and hold in disdain those God left here to demonstrate that love,  but allow the broken heart of God to reveal His love for them.  Let's go out to lovingly tell the truth about Jesus Christ, Who will forgive and redeem those who come to Him.

Friday, October 10, 2014

For Him and Forever - Listen for Him!

Carol and I are reading through Pete Scezzaro's Emotionally Healthy Spirituality as a couple and as part of our Community Group's study.  As we drove to Arkansas recently and as Carol read, I heard her voice Scezzaro's words about silence, meditation, and solitude.

Now I know those aren't exactly the same, but the theme is clear:  "Be still and know that He is God".  This is straight scripture from Psalm 46:10.

Psalm 46:10

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” 
Today I get to be quiet.  I choose to be quiet and stop typing.  I choose to listen - not to music, not to nature, not to my thoughts but to purposefully still myself and ask my Abba Father God to speak.  I will be quiet until or as long as He wishes.  Why?  
For me - of course I benefit, but it is not for me.
For you - of course you will benefit from my life when I am unhurried and patient and loving as He will empower me to be.
For Him and Forever!
The passage says that God will "be exalted among the nations, I (God) will be exalted in the earth."

We need Him so desperately.  I need Him so desperately, and we need each other to exalt Him and love Him and stand in awe of Him individually so that collectively He will be exalted in the earth...all over the earth...in every nation...starting at home...your home and mine.  

No more excuses.  Let's be still and know the God of the universe who loves us so much that He thinks about us all the time, sacrificed His one and only Son to make it possible for us to be forgiven and free to be with Him forever ----starting now and never ending.  
Hallelujah, what a Savior is Jesus Christ the Son of God.

I am now still.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Can It Be True? Marriage Gets Better!

As a teen when I first thought about being married someday, there was no way I could have understood or imagined how life would be at 64.  Could you have imagined it?

Should someone have questioned me about marriage and what I thought it would be, not even then would I have thought much past the first few years.....wedding, honeymoon, work, kids, honeymoon, kids, honeymoon....you get the idea.

Now that Carol and I are almost 42 years into this relationship having 3 wonderful Lewis kids (adults), 2 wonderful in-laws for 2 of our 3 wonderful kids, 7 grand - and I do mean grand - grandchildren, I can honestly say that life is better than I could have imagined back in my teen years.

In fact, it is so great, that I now get to go around the country (even the world) helping Christian leader couples establish effective marriage and family ministries!  Who knew?!

So when culture and media tell you that marriage is mundane, average, awful, sub-par with just living together or "hooking up", and therefore not worth pursuing, they don't know what they are talking about.  Marriage - done in God's great love - is "exceeding abundant" above all I asked or imagined.  It's the hardest, most wonderful thing you'll ever do!

Now, that's what I'm talking about!!

Sunday, August 31, 2014

A Flop Becomes a Blessing!

Recently we discovered that one of the workshops we had calendared was simply not going to have enough participants.  The group with whom we'd been working decided to find another date and cancel the August workshop in Florida.

Though we were disappointed on several fronts, we knew that God always has His timing for things...even a changed date for a workshop.

Well, He did it again! 

For us -
The opening of that weekend allowed us to finalize our plans to move after the sale of our home.  A Moving Sale that was profitable, an extra week that allowed us to finish getting the house ready for the new owners, and a time of great fellowship and "Joint Accomplishment" as our wonderful community group members came to our rescue as they helped us clean and pack.  Carol and I cannot imagine what the last few weeks would have been had this freeing of our schedules not happened.

For me -
The night before I was to have led the workshop in Florida I spiked a 102.6 fever and spent most of the next 24 hours in bed not knowing if I was coming or going.  How did God know that I was not going to be well enough to lead a workshop that day....????  Oh, yeah, He IS God after all.

For a Florida couple -
Since I had to cancel the reservation so near to the event, the hotel would not allow a refund of the money. (Long story...but not for here)  We remembered a sweet couple among many sweet couples from our NextGen Tampa Bay Training campaigns.  We contacted them, since they did not live far from the city where the workshop had been postponed, and they were excited to have a time away together gifted to them.  This is part of the note she wrote to us after their weekend away:
 "We really needed to step back for that moment and enjoy each other.  Things may have escalated had this not been presented to us.  So again, thank you for blessing us."


Don't you love it when God's plans come together!


Friday, August 29, 2014

More of the Same is Not Boring! Ephesians 3:20-21 Revisited!

Realizing how long it has been since I last posted and feeling incredibly blessed in the interim,  I decided it was time to give Abba the glory He deserves.
So here goes!

In Tampa Bay Florida area - 
  • Now 23 churches and ministries are launching marriage ministries and / or using the Intimate Encounters principles in their counseling models.  Who would have thought that in a year's time we would see God so powerfully at work in so many marriages of leaders who are in real ways "living loved and giving love freely...starting at home".
  • The 70 plus couples who've attended the 3 campaigns (each lasting about 3 months) over the time from June, 2013 through today August 29, 2014, have been present to experience and observe God's work in couples from varied denominations/movements as well as racial/ethnic backgrounds.  Who would have thought that they would see barriers broken down between people of different denominations, races, and generations then replaced by deep love and respect for one another?  Who would have guessed that these leader couples would see their lives exposed to the light of God's truth, then become vulnerably humble before each other to the degree that spouses have become partners in ministry versus feeling abandoned?  
  • Now we are preparing for our final NextGen Tampa Bay IE Training - Campaign 4.  Who knows what He will do in the couples He will bring along?  How exciting to see what He has done already and to imagine how He will heal, change, and equip these new couples to impact the Tampa Bay area!  They and we believe God's heart is to Take Back Tampa for Jesus Christ and His kingdom!


In Akron Ohio -
  • Just 2 years ago Jeff Bogue and I met in Austin, TX, to discuss an idea birthed in the heart of Dr. David Ferguson.  The idea:  What if TBI teamed up with Grace Akron to build a relational ministry as part of the "operating system" of that great church?  After Grace Akron hired Robby Neidlinger as their pastor over marriage and pastoral care, we got busy discovering the vision and desire of those involved for reaching the current and next generations.  Who would have guessed that our Father in heaven would bring together under Robby's leadership 13 couples to be trained then begin to lead marriage small groups?  Who would have known that over this very summer 24 couples joined those leaders in 5 small groups and took seriously God's call to love as He does.  These couples are building new legacies of love in their families now and for the future generations.   The children in these homes and beyond will see the glory of God in the love found in their own homes.  These couples are "helping leaders live loved and give love freely...starting at home".

In Elizabethtown Kentucky -
  • At the beginning of the year 2014 plans were set into motion for training a group of leader couples in a vital denomination in Kentucky.  These 20 plus couples have met for 3 or 4 Saturdays, have studied and experienced relational principles, have applied them personally and inside their own families, and are now learning how to develop ministries inside their churches for their communities to help "leaders live loved and give love freely ... staring at home".  Who would have thought that this group of leaders would become so transparent and relationally connected then witness personal revival in homes and churches?  Can you believe they let a person teach knowing that I am not from their denomination?  :)  Well, they did!

In Rock Hill and now Charleston South Carolina -
  • A couple whose heart beats for helping engaged couples have successful, abundant marriages has now become an integral part of TBI.  Their faith in the Lord, love for Him and for each other take them across the state to Charleston to develop a model of marriage ministry for a church planting ministry.  The plan is to help those church planters learn how to "live loved and give love freely...starting at home" and how to train "faithful men and women who will train others also".    Who would have guessed that this couple and their friends in the church-planting ministry would see the need and implement a plan to make sure leader couples are healthy in their marriage and family before they go out to do the hard work of planting a church?  What a concept!  OK, there is a little sarcasm in that last bit.  :)

In Dayton Maine - 
  • Having come to know Nick and Beccy Foss 3 years ago at a retreat in Tennessee, Carol and I now have the honor of going to their home in Maine, September 11-14, 2014, to lead a relationship workshop using the Top Ten Relational Needs material.  Nick and Beccy have implemented these key principles in their own home and family as they now help equip their church to "live loved and give love freely...starting at home".  Who would have thought that two Kentucky folks (Carol and I) would have the privilege of taking this message of God's loving Good News to New England?  Do you think we will need to use interpreters?  :)

Alongside these wonderful ministry milestones, Abba has helped us ...
  • see another grandchild come to saving faith in Jesus
  • find and contract Linda D'Avanzo as our new Administrative Assistant
  • see Carol teaching alongside me in multiple environments
  • sell our home in Cumming to a dear family (friends of ours in fact)
  • move to a new location where we are renting
  • build deepening relationships within our family and among friends both new and old
  • enjoy unbroken salary for the last 18 months
  • enlist 2 new Encourager Couples to join our 18 already in the field
  • engage our TBI Board for another year of volunteer service alongside Carol and me
  • plan a new website to offer resources to more seeking couples and launch in the next weeks and months by God's grace.  

So the mission of TBI "to help leaders live loved and give love freely...starting at home" is being realized and expanded to even more areas of the country and into new levels of leadership.  Who would have guessed it when God launched us 4 years ago in September, 2010? 

Truly, He has done "exceeding abundantly above all that we have asked or imagined".  And may He receive glory in the church and in Christ Jesus forever and even....amen"!

Well, the Apostle Paul said it more eloquently under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit:
20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.  (Ephesians 3:20-21 - ESV)

So, God's plan all along has been to reach the next generation through the influence, love, and witness of the current and previous ones....
Maybe it is time we reached our "neighbors" at home and around us by "living loved and giving love freely ... starting at home".  The Gospel of Jesus is worth living and sharing at home on our way to sharing Him with the world...to the uttermost parts.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Update: "Infinitely More" ------ Lewis Family and TBI 2013


The Basic Idea Ministries – Update and Praise Report for 2013 – “Infinitely More”

Are you familiar with this passage of scripture in Ephesians 3?
20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
21 Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen. (New Living Translation)

Our mission:  To help leaders live loved and give love freely…starting at home.

Our strategy:  To help leaders…. by creating environments where TBI Encouragers …
A-activate marriage mentoring
B-build marriage ministries
C-create marriage conferences
D-develop dedicated volunteers
E-enlist more encouragers in churches

Now let’s examine each area of the strategy to get an idea of what God is doing!
A – Activate Marriage Mentoring
                  “We don’t look at our TBI Encouragers as mentors so much as we see them as friends.”  This is a comment we are hearing often as our Encourager Couples have mentored 30 to 40 couples during 2013.  Two-on-two mentoring accounts for 8 to 10 but Concentric Circle online communities have seen 20 – 30 other couples engaged in a mentoring process. 

B – Build Marriage Ministries
                  “Where has this stuff been?”  This is another often-voiced comment from leaders who are discovering the Intimate Encounters material.  During 2013 it has been our joy to work with leaders from more than 50 churches to explain the importance of marriage / relational ministries to the church.  The question is not “Do we have something for marriages and parents?”  The question is “What are we doing to help our people pass the faith to the next generation starting in their own homes?” Since June 1, 2013, some TBI couples have trained 38 couples in IE and have seen 15 marriage ministries birthed or re-launched.  Work is progressing in other states and other countries.

C – Create Marriage Conferences
                  “My family will never be the same.”  This statement characterizes what we have seen God accomplish at More Than Married, Top Ten Relational, and other retreats during the year.  Right before our eyes, God has brought couples from the brink of divorce to varying degrees of health and hope, but all to a place of seeing that God can do miracles in marriages.  Can you imagine the heart of a child at Christmas who started 2013 fearing that his parents would not be together but now sees smiles in place of tears; love in place of bitterness?  If that don’t light your fire, your wood’s wet!  That is a Kentucky-ism, I think!  J

D – Develop Teams of Dedicated Volunteers
                  “Now I am free to do what God called me to do.”  When I was on staff at North Point Ministries for over 9 years, I got to see life-transformation almost every week.  Being with TBI for 3 years, we are beginning to see the lasting fruit of God’s work in some of the churches where we helped with A, B, and C above.  I know God was changing lives before we connected with those churches, but now I get to see what He is doing in families through healing marriages.  Couples are better parents when they know that their spouse is “for” and “with” them not against them.  We are seeing couples and individuals become dedicated volunteers, excited to serve in new ways.  The process is worth the time and investment.

E – Enlist and Equip Encouragers
                  “I am so excited to get to work with these committed, loving couples.”  This quote is from my heart.  Not only are couples becoming mentors and facilitators in marriage ministries within their churches, but also some are joining with TBI as Encouragers, who are serving other couples and churches outside their daily traffic patterns. We now have Encourager Couples in Kenya (1) , California (2), Ohio (1), North Carolina(3), South Carolina (1), Georgia (8), and Florida (1 now, but 20+ prospects).  We even have one Encourager Couple touring the country in an RV hoping to help couples and churches along their journey.  Several of our Encouragers have their own ministries doing great work all over the country, not as TBI Encouragers, but as part of their own ministries! 

I can’t keep up with all the incredible work these couples are doing in God’s Kingdom!  God knows!

I know many of you have been concerned and engaged in our ministry's finances.  Once again, God has done “infinitely more”.  Not that we have an infinite amount of money in the bank, but I can tell you that we have been able to pay the bills, pay most of the salaries, and will begin 2014 in the black.

Many thanks go to our Board of Directors:  Mike Glogorski, Jeanne Ward, Patty Cheek, and Darrell Flowe have joined me for the last 3 years to help TBI start on solid ground.  They are awesome!

Our Prayer Team, led by Pam Flowe, has supplied hours of investment in prayer for this ministry.  Our Father has heard and answered.  This team is crucial to our future success as a ministry.  Thank you so much for your loving care for TBI.

We know that more than 65 people / churches have contributed to TBI over these 3+ years.  No one has to contribute and we don’t ask churches or couples for support, but God has miraculously supplied, and we are grateful.

Family Update:
Jeanne no longer works with TBI but has moved back to Little Rock, her hometown, where she is enjoying her new job, new friends, and her little house in the country, not “on the prairie”.  Though we miss her, we are so proud of her faith and courage evidenced over this year of change!  She did a great service giving us 3 years to get this ministry off the ground.  3 John 4

Suzanne Adams, our daughter who lives in Cleveland, GA, has been such a blessing to help in Jeanne’s absence, but her 3 children and now 1 on the way (July)  will limit her involvement.  Nathan and she celebrated 8 years of marriage on Oct. 29.  They are doing a wonderful job of loving one another and those grandchildren:  Evan, Jonathan, Reagan, and 1 more…no name yet!  3 John 4

Paul, our son, lives in Little Rock with his wife Erin, and three more of our wonderful grandkids:  Eli, Clara, and Joanna Mae.  Paul and Erin are about to celebrate their 14th anniversary (Dec. 30th, same day as our anniversary) and continue to bless us with their encouragement and the example they set as a couple and family.  3 John 4

Carol continues to be my “right-hand” woman and my dearest friend. (Dec. 30 is our 41st anniversary)  She has traveled with me, taught at conferences, co-led small groups, helped me in mentoring couples, and now works with me in the TBI office.  Also, she continues to serve at Browns Bridge Community Church as a WeekDay Preschool teacher. Proverbs 18:22

I am a blessed man in so many ways! 

May God continue to bless you and keep you by His power, and may you and I “live loved and give love freely…starting at home.”

Dave, Carol, Jeanne, Paul & family, Suzanne & family

Monday, September 23, 2013

Football, an F; Basketball, a D; Baseball, a C - Life and Love, What is my grade?


    An "F "in Football:
 When I was a kid of 8 or 9, or so, I played little league football and was on the “red team”.  As I remember we were OK or maybe even good, because we had Garnet S ( I won’t use his name since I don’t have his permission), but Garnet S later played quarterback for two different college football teams.   

     I remember during one of the early games of our Little League season the coach telling me to go in as right tackle, after which I ran onto the field and promptly asked Garnet S, my friend, “Where does the right tackle go?”  I know, I know….I should have known these things  after all the practices we'd had...at least a few.  However, if at practice no one tells you the simple facts of football you still don’t know where the right tackle goes or what he does.  And if you are too shy or too afraid to ask "Coach" then you still don't know. 

     Garnet would tell me to block that guy or go after the guy with the ball…or something profound.  I knew Garnet would go far because he actually knew where the right tackle was supposed to line up and what he was to do when he got there.

After a while I got tired of not knowing and not playing much. Wonder why coach didn't play me much?  Never mind....  I know..  I stank!

Funny, but I just realized that the same thing happened in basketball.  Never thought of the connection until this moment….and I am 63 years old.

A "D" in Basketball:
When I played Little League basketball, Mr. C, the coach, played his best players almost all the time, and one of those guys was his son.  I was still around 9 or 10, maybe, so we weren’t playing for national championships or for money, unless Mr. C was betting on the games.  Doubt it.  I came to practice faithfully as I recall then sat on the bench most of the games.  Just before the last game or two of the season, I quit the team only to discover that Mr. C played the bench squad more than usual during those few remaining games. Why did the coach not play me?  I know....I stank!

Now I know I may not have been the best football or basketball player ever, but now that I know what I did in neighborhood ball games and later playing intermurals in college, I think I could have been a "better than average" player in both sports because I had some skill and I was fast.  What I needed was a coach who’d teach me the basics….you know like Vince Lombardi would say, "Gentlemen, this is a football,” and  - as I understand the stories - would make sure the guys knew the fundamentals. 

When you try to run trick plays or even basic plays with guys who don’t know where the right tackle is, you might be coaching a team that won’t go far or you may be coaching a team of guys who stay frustrated because they are not winning very often, unless you only play your “stars”…if you happen to be blessed with enough stars.  And if you are gifted with stars, as a coach, you may not be very interested in training more stars or perhaps you simply don’t know how.

Is that what has happened to marriage and family and church?
Perhaps the coaches (pastors or denominational leaders) are only interested in the “star Christians” who seem to have it all together.  But what about us mediocre-at-best guys who want to shine on God’s team but don’t know how?  What about the guys and gals who want great marriages and want to be superb, Bible-based parents but have never seen it done?  What about those who wanted to win the world for Christ, but felt like such failures at home, or work, or both that they concluded they had nothing to give because they weren’t succeeding in the two or three most important relationships in life – marriage, parenting, spiritual leadership.

And then there are those who had great businesses and looked great on the outside and were highly esteemed as successes but had no more of an idea how to love well at home than the schmucks who were just barely getting by financially.

But when you asked them, everyone was “fine, just fine”.  Liars!  Well, maybe that is too harsh.  Many weren’t lying; they just didn’t believe those asking, “How are you doing?” , really wanted an answer.  Perhaps they weren’t any better at relationships at church than they were at home. 

In my view, we take our home relationships and foist them onto the world around us.  So my home relationship style of leadership, caring, and conflict resolution get transferred to work, church, and outside groups.  We may even be better at relationships outside the home...for a while.   Even if we fake it outside the home, eventually it all catches up with us and the truth of our ineptness will be revealed.

You may feel I am being overly critical.  You are probably wrong.

I am not bitter but I am tired of watching families fail and churches do little-to-nothing about it….either on the preventative-side of helping them experience and build great relationships before marriage by way of friendships or on the equipping-side of things to give couples the skills via biblical principles and mentoring needed to live out the very things the preacher is telling them to do.  Most can’t do it because they have not seen it done….in their own homes of origin or in the families in the church currently.

Like football and basketball, I went into marriage with only a few skills and a heart full of “want to do it right”.  I wanted to have the best family and the greatest marriage ever!  I can remember bits and pieces of relationships I observed during my youth where they had something I wanted to have in my own marriage one day, but I don't remember many.  I also had little to no training about what love is, how you do it, how loved we are by our Father in heaven, and how to be free in Christ to give love away.

I know I am writing more than folks will read but that is OK.  This is more for me than for others anyway.  I seem to have to get this off my chest tonight. 

When you have a heart to win, and you have some skills, but no training –  no proper equipment – no encouragers – no effective coaching--- only a vision of being a Michael Jordan, then you have a recipe for a great Sports Illustrated cover story for the kid who actually overcame the obstacles or for a sad story of a guy who joins the statistics of the people we call losers. 

I am here to tell you that God is after those guys who may never be stars on anyone’s team but can be on His Star Lover/Leader Team.  He'll even let a few of the cover story guys on His team.  Of all the things He wants us to do best -the choices are narrowed to one.  One thing Jesus Himself said was THE most important thing ever…..loving God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength and loving you as I love myself.  Sound familiar?

Who coached you to love more and more, as Jesus loves?
Who modeled that kind of love for you?  ... to you?
Who gave you the relational tools and equipment, and taught you to use it and how to put it on properly?
Who loved you so much like Jesus that you caught it, even if you were not taught it?
Who took you by the hand and said "Gentleman or Lady, this is love.”, now let’s learn how to recognize love, develop it, overcome obstacles in the way of it, and how to maintain it?    In fact, let’s learn how to get better at it with each passing year.
Who taught you to apply love to your marriage?
Who taught you how to pass along a new legacy of love to your children and your children’s children or those children, not your own, that you are called to adopt, foster-parent, or serve as a representative of Christ?

If the answers to the above questions indicate that you have had to learn this yourself, then you and I have a gracious God to thank.  The Lord Jesus gave us His Holy Spirit to live in us and bring these qualities to light.  I am grateful, but there's another thing that needs to be said.

“If God wanted us to just come to faith and then learn the rest of the Christian life on our own, He’d never have given the Great Commission or the Great Commandment”.

OK, I am about done…..it is late

A "C" in Baseball:
When I played baseball it was a little different story.  I was pretty good with the glove and played a decent third base.  Now this may be a case of “the older I get the better I was”, but I will go ahead and admit that I stank at the plate lest I get too prideful talking about my skill as an infielder.

As I did get better on defense, I got progressively worse at the plate to the place where striking out, or flying out, or grounding out because the norm.  I would rather stay out in the field as a third baseman that come in on offense and go to bat.  For me it was that I “got to bat”.  No, I mean I had to do it not that it was exciting and I wanted to get to the plate.  I was scared to bat because I was pretty sure I would fail.  After coming close to having an eye put out when a sharply hit grounder skipped over my glove and into my eyeglasses, shattering the lens into my eye, something changed. Stitches and blood and pain led me to now be afraid of the ball at the plate and at third.  You guessed it, rather than keep on trying, I quit.

When no one in the stands really cares whether you play or not, when the coaches don’t really encourage you to stick with it and offer to spend a little more time helping you get over the fear, and when you have already failed at basketball and football, then baseball becomes the third strike, and “you’re out of there”!  I was.

Years later, in my mid-40's, when I felt like a failure at marriage and was trying to decide what to do, guess what I concluded?  I had no marriage coaches, no body in the stands who cared  and knew how to care about my marriage, no skilled mentor to identify the problem and help fix it, and no one that I knew who had a better  marriage than mine,  I began to think that I should just quit and drive away.  That’s right.  I almost came to the horrible conclusion to leave; and maybe everyone would be better off, if I just kept going and drove away. 

Did you hear that lie?  “Everyone might be better off if I just left and started over somewhere else.”
Truth is “no one would be better off”.  In our country the divorce rate combined with its" hell on earth impact" on so many children and adults alike proves the point.  God hates divorce; He said so in the book of Malachi.  He loves us – single, married, divorced, re-married, not re-married, with kids, without kids -in every demographic group you can list.  But He wants divorce to stop.  He wants marriages to reflect the love He established to illumine a dark world where love is cold.

What grade will we get in Life and Love?
People do want to be loved and to give love, and I fully believe the Gospel of Jesus Christ that saves us …the Jew first and then the Gentile….though not more true when fleshed out in a loving home ---is nonetheless more believable by those in a home where His love shines.  And those outside that home observing from more of a distance the love of God happening in your relationships wish to God that they had such a family, such a love, such hope, and such a Savior who would love them too.

My prayerful hope and desire is to see this country reap the blessings of the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord and to live loved and give love freely…beginning at home in the power of the Holy Spirit.  God’s great love - expressed clearly in the homes of leaders and followers alike - would lead the leaders to authenticity and relevance in relationships and ministry and would help the followers to realize that they, since they too have those who follow them, are, in fact, leaders with influence. 

Perhaps the issue is not how many people I lead but to what destination I am leading them.  Are we leading others to love as Jesus loves, to know His love for them personally and to know that God loves them as much as He loves His own Son. John 17:23

When we know how loved we truly are, the Holy Spirit takes advantage of that freedom to move us to freely give that love away…starting with our nearest neighbors…those of our own home, extending to the uttermost parts of the earth.